


Life is but a dream

by Thenotsocrazylunatic



Series: the amazing adventures of simon bane [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Raphael Santiago, Downworlder Dad Magnus Bane, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Simon Lewis, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood First Meet, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Protective Clary Fray, Simon Lewis & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Starving, Valentine Morgenstern Being an Asshole, Vampire Simon Lewis, Warlock Magnus Bane, Warlock Marks (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Warlock Simon Lewis, all ships aren't set in stone, honestly suffering is coming, honestly therapy first, shaduwhunters, simon is really bad at emotions, who is left to love him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 39,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23428345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thenotsocrazylunatic/pseuds/Thenotsocrazylunatic
Summary: Simon doesn't know how everything could come crashing down so fast.One moment he's naming his band Dead Zeppelin and the next Clary bumps into a shadowhunter and Jocelyn gets kidnapped.How the hell was he still upright?It felt like he was dreaming and he tried desperately to wake up from this nightmare.But Simon wouldn't be able to wake up.Life was a very very real nightmare and he just so happened to promise that he would follow Clary Fray anywhere.Even when she was walking into what was basically the 7 circles of hell on earth.Simon Lewis-bane needed a drink and a best friend reward.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Meliorn/Raphael Santiago
Series: the amazing adventures of simon bane [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676779
Comments: 37
Kudos: 161





	1. The most terrible birthday

**Author's Note:**

> Ya'll excited? I know I am!  
> The crew meet and Simon feels a headache building.

Fuck, Fuck Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

This could not be happening! They'd been so close to a nice and clean reveal. Everything would have been great. But no Jocelyn had to go get herself kidnapped and now Simon couldn't find Clary anywhere. He was pretty close to just using a tracking spell in the open where mundanes could easily see him when he hears a scream.

"Guess the shadowhunters did what they came here for," he mutters darkly under his breath, already worming his way through the crowd. If only Magnus would know that shadowhunters are using his club as a hunting ground. He'd be livid.

The scene he walks in on looks like it was ripped from a cheesy fantasy movie. The shadowhunters moving in perfect sync to slay what Simon vaguely recognized as shapeshifters. Clary looked terrified which was to be expected as she was watching a group of people murder another group of people and making the other group dissolve into thin air.

The battle comes to an end with the blonde who had bumped into Clary and a black haired shadowhunter taking down the last demon together. Clary raced forward to get out of there when she spotted him. She came stumbling over to him and collapsed into his arms.

"They-they killed them!" she cried out in panic and Simon really really wished that he was dreaming because this was quite possibly the worst fucking way for Clary to find out about the shadowworld. Simon eased her off of him and looked into her eyes.

"Everything is about to be a whole lot worse Clary. We have to go right now. Your mom got kidnapped,"Simon says calmly,watching the last of Clary's resolve crumble at his words. A soft 'what?' leaves her lips and tears are already streaming down her face.

"Then I have to go home Si! Call Luke and tell him to meet me there please!" She begs before ripping herself from his arms and running. Simon grinds his teeth together in frustration, needing all of his concentration to not scream.

This just wasn't fair.

"Hey mundane!," A now annoyingly familiar voice called to him. Simon snapped his head op towards the sound, eye already twitching. The cocky blonde shadowhunter walked over to him with his drawn out seraph blade in band. "Where did your little friend go?" He asked forcefully, Simon narrows his eyes dangerously and has to bite back a borderline death-wish retort.

"Home,"Simon barks out and the shadowhunter growled in frustration before following after Clary. Simon rubbed his temples for a second before turning to follow them both. He skillfully avoids Maureen and finally manages to slip into his van.

The drive to Clary's is silent, he doesn't even dare to put on music right now.

Everything had gone so wrong in so many different ways. What was he even going to do when he found Clary. He had given up on his phone when after dropping it, about 12 people passed and the phone just vanished in the crowd. So he couldn't call his dad or Raphael to ask for help. He could try to portal home but it would be most likely that Magnus would keep him inside once he got there, with or without Clary.

He presses his foot harder on the gas and starts chewing on his lip. If he was lucky then he'd be at the loft before Clary even got there. Maybe he could check out if it was safe and then when Clary arrived he could take her to his place. If they were getting locked in Clary was coming with him.

Finally arriving at the Fray residence Simon swears under his breath again. The front door had carelessly been left open and he smelled fire as he jumped out of his van. Driving would have normally been faster if you weren't the queen of Brooklyn like Clary was. She knew all the best shortcuts. Some that she even refused to share with Simon himself.

Another scream makes him move faster as he races inside. Just in time to see Clary sway on her feet and collapse in the douche bag blonde's arms. Simon feels panic swelling in his chest and he tries very hard to push it down as he runs towards them.

The shadowhunter, Simon thinks he heard the black haired teen call him Jake? Jace?, pulls out his stele and the young warlock feels anger swell inside of him.

This guy didn't even know for sure if Clary was one of them. Drawing a rune on her could kill her or make her lose her mind if she were a mundane. The blonde probably planned to take Clary to the institute anyway so Simon had to be smart about this.

"What are you doing to her?"He asked with as much confusion in his voice as he could muster. They'd never let a warlock into their precious institute but maybe they would let in a clueless mundane that would refuse to let the blonde leave without him.

The shadowhunter doesn't even look up at him as he silently draws a healing rune in the crook of her Clary's. Once it's drawn the hunter looks up with a cocky smile that Simon really wants to punch off of his smug face.

"Saving her life. I have to take her to... my people," Jace(?) says, He scoops Clary up effortlessly and starts walking. Simon intercepts him with his hands up in the air. This guy was insane if he thought a mundane would just let him leave like that.

" 'Your people' sounds an awful lot like a cult buddy. Just let me come with you alright? She's my best friend and I need to be there for her even if you can help her," That should be convincing enough. This guy obviously didn't have a lot of experience with mundanes. He wouldn't know that it isn't typical to follow a guy that claims he can magically heal somebody.

The shadowhunter sighs loudly but nods to the open door. "Can you drive?" he asks and Simon just pulls the keys of his van out of his pocket as an answer.

The next 10 minutes are torture. Clary is sickly pale and for a second Simon thinks that maybe Jocelyn had bad luck. Maybe she bared a mundane child with the sight and Clary would die because Simon didn't stop Blondie from drawing a rune on her. 

The man next to him probably saw him worriedly glancing at Clary every few seconds because he finally broke the silence.

"She was attacked and poisoned- Take a left here- A friend of mine can help her heal fully," The guy says. Simon scoffs in his mind, if he really didn't know anything that would have only raised more red flags then help him relax. But he did know a thing or two about demons and realized Clary must look like that because of venom.

Some lavender infused blood root on the wound would draw the rest of the poison out easily. Now somewhat eased Simon listened to the shadowhunter's directions and finally came to a stop in front an old broken down church.

Simon hadn't ever actually seen the institute, it was one of those places that his dad told him he couldn't go. The old warlock feared that if he did a shadowhunter might think him rogue or worse, mundane and lock him up.

The young warlock understood that but it was way harder now to hold in his complete surprise at the almost beauty of it. Before his eyes the 'mundane' glamour crumbled and the institute blossomed to it's real appearance. Simon would have gaped if he was supposed to be able to see it.

"What are we doing by an old abandoned church? Oh god I was right wasn't I? You're a part of some kind of cult!"Simon let his real panic of the overall situation creep into his voice and he heard the shadowhunter growl in annoyance again as he opened the door and grabbed Clary. He threw her over his shoulder and grabbed his stele with his free hand.

Burning the 'seeing' rune into his hand before grabbing Simon's. 

"Woah dude I swing that way but you're not my type!" He said before finally allowing himself to gape at the institute in it's full glory.

"Come on Mundie, your friend doesn't have all day"Jace (he was still not sure if that was the blonde's name) says and walks towards the entrance. Simon follows like a lost puppy, mostly because he's nervous that his glamour wouldn't fool the institute's security.

Apparently It did.

They walk right in and as soon as they're inside Jace , seriously if that wasn't his name it was now,lets go of his hand and starts walking with a purpose.

The young warlock scrambles to keep up and doesn't even bat an eye at the heavy equipment they pass. There are few hunters about, most were probably out on a mission or sleeping. Jace leads him to what he assumes is the infirmary and Simon almost stops short when he sees who their doctor is. Or rather what the man was.

An ex-circle member. 

Jace nods at the man as if he wasn't a downworlder murderer and puts Clary down on one of the beds. Simon is suddenly so glad that he was wearing a hoodie. Covering his bracelet in a subtle way. He goes to sit on a chair next to Clary and holds her hand gently.

Jace goes to supposedly tell the circle member what happened in hushed whispers. Simon tries very hard to pay them no mind,grateful more then ever that his magic wasn't coupled to his emotions. He'd have things floating around the room with his heart beating as fast as it was ,if that were the case.

The young warlock prides himself on the fact that he doesn't flinch as the healer comes towards them. The hunter pulls a vial out of his apron with something Simon doesn't recognize inside it. He has to literally dig his nails into his thigh to keep himself from stopping the disgraced shadowhunter.

He had to allow him to put an unknown substance on Clary's wound because there was literally no way to prevent it without revealing he wasn't who he said he was. Not that his cover would last very long. He was pretty sure that his mundane act would be blown before sunrise with how tense his shoulders were.

Pretty soon Magnus would start looking for him and all would come crashing down.

God ,Clary needed to wake up.

And Simon needed a drink.


	2. Bad things start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary wakes up confused and Simon is pretty much done with everything.

Clary was starting to wake up and Simon had absolutely no clue what he would do when she became fully awake. It had been hours since they had arrived at the institute and the itch of shadowhunter 'magic' power or whatever was getting under his skin.

Thinking that his glamour would hold up forever without it being uncomfortable was to good to be true apparently. Maybe for once life could not suck? That would be nice.

Simon absently squeezes Clary's hand and startles so bad that he falls out of the chair he was occupying when she squeezes back. His breath is caught in his throat as Clary slowly starts to blink open her eyes and looks around confused.

"Simon?,"She asks quietly, she sounds so confused and small and Simon just wants to hold her tight and wrap her up in a comfortable blanket. Her focus is entirely on him and a dopey smile spreads across her face.

"I had this crazy dream Si. Did we get totally hammered or something?" There's an innocence to her voice and everything inside of him is urging him to lie to her. To tell her that that's exactly what happened and that her mom was on an unexpected business trip. That they got so drunk Clary got a tattoo and that they ended up being picked up by a weird cult.

Jace, who had only left the room to go talk to his other two teammates, speaks up before Simon can even attempt to lie through his teeth.

"That wasn't a dream Princess,"

Simon swears he's 2 seconds away from punching the shadowhunter,damn the consequences. Were all shadowhunters this blunt? Or did they just happen to get stuck with the only cocky blonde hunter that exists?

Clary seems to take the news that everything that happened is real with a grain of salt. She looks over at Simon,waiting for him to tell her it's all bullshit and that she just passed out but he can't do that. Instead he nods his head and watches her face fall.

"So my mom?.... And that-that thing?,"She doesn't say what she wants to say but Simon can understand her just fine. He nods again, not trusting his voice at the moment. So desperate for it all to go back to the way it was before that he's not sure if the first thing he'd say would be a lie.

"Then I have to find her!"Clary exclaims, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and almost collapsing as she tries to stand. Simon surges forward to catch her but Jace has her by the elbow before he can come close. Dread pools in the young warlock's stomach, he has a feeling that a lot of the interactions between the three of them would go like that from now on.

"Easy, you had demon venom in your system remember?"Jace says and helps Clary back unto the bed. Of course Clary immediately freaks out when the word 'demon' drops and Simon doesn't even have the energy to act surprised anymore. He's been awake for hours, he's worried about his family and the itch is getting more and more annoying every second.

He zones out through Jace's whole 'all the legends are true' speech and has to hold in a snort when the blonde acts confused as soon as Clary starts laughing. Taking a deep calming breath Simon walks over to Clary and sits down next to her. He lays a hand on her thigh silently and the new shadowhunter abruptly stops laughing.

There's a questioning look in her eyes but Simon has to shoulder past that. 

"He's telling the truth," the young warlock starts, holding up his other hand to stop any argument when she opens her mouth. "Clary you had a wound spanning your shoulder. I'm pretty sure you would have bled out. I watched it frikin heal Frey. Like magic," 

Clary openly gapes at him and he gives her a meaningful look. One that she knows means he is not kidding at all. That sobers her op completely. She mutters a silent 'okay' and turns back to Jace.

"So what are you then? Some kind of wizard?"She asks, there's a clear challenge in her words as if she dares him to say anything different. The shadowhunter actually has the audacity to laugh in her face at that.

"No, don't confuse me with a warlock," Simon almost flinches at the way the blonde spits out the name of his species. "We're shadowhunters."

"We?" Clary mouths, eyes immediately going towards Simon and now he can't help but snort. As if. He shakes his head a negative and sees Clary's shoulders sag in relief. Oh boy that promised for later.

"Yes, me and you"Jace confirmed. Clary stared at him for a moment before realizing he wasn't kidding. Simon sees she has the urge to turn back to look at him for confirmation but simultaneously can't take her eyes off of the blonde. Simon hates that he kind of gets why.

He's just about to speak up when the door to the infirmary opens and the other 2 people from the club come strolling in. Simon loathes to admit that all shadowhunters are beautiful. These two look like siblings, two extremely pretty people with black hair and sexy rune tattoos covering their bodies.

God Simon was in desperate need of a relationship.

"Good,You're awake," The tall male of the duo speaks up as they walk over. He nods once at Jace as some sort of acknowledgement and Simon can't decide if they hate each other or if they're best friends.

"Who are you?" Clary blurts out and The young warlock sitting next to her can't help but pinch the bridge of his nose. Clary seems to forget all her manners precisely when she thinks it's convenient. Usually he'd be right there apologizing for her behavior but he has no need to draw attention to himself right now.

The woman with long curled black hair gives Clary a coy smile and Simon swears he sees his friend's cheeks fire up from the corner of his eye.

"My name is Isabelle Lightwood and this is my brother Alec. Call me Izzy,"She offers her hand to Clary in such a way that it's obvious that it's meant to be kisses but Clary,the clueless bisexual that she is,shakes it. Isabelle's smile doesn't falter for a second and Simon admire's her control.

She holds out the same hand for him and Simon swallows his dignity to place a soft kiss on her knuckles. As if belatedly realizing what she was supposed to do, Clary's cheeks burned ever brighter.

"Is she ready to go?" The grumpy black haired dude, Alec,asks Jace. Not even looking at either of them. There was the attitude Simon expected from a shadowhunter! A second later ,what was said registers in his mind.

"Go? Go where? You're not taking her anywhere!" Simon objected strongly. No way in all the 7 circles of hell would he allow these shadowhunters to take Clary anywhere. Their healer was an ex-circle member so who's to say they weren't just new recruits who planned to take Clary to wherever Jocelyn had been kidnapped to?

The two male shadowhunters looked extremely annoyed at him. Izzy was still smiling and Simon guessed she was more the laid back kinda type.

"We're taking her to The Clave. She's a new shadowhunter and that's unheard of. They'll know what to do,"Clary tensed up beside him at Alec's words. She too knew that that sounded shady as fuck.

"Simon I think it's time to call your dad to come pick us up,"Clary told him quietly , eyes never leaving Alec as she did. Simon reached into his pocket only to remember he dropped his phone in the club earlier.

"I lost my phone while looking for you. I did drive here though so I'm pretty sure I know how to get back,"Simon tells her. None of the shadowhunters are talking. Just looking at them as if they're waiting for them to make a move.

"Use my phone. Please, I'd feel safer if Magnus went to come get us,"Clary pleaded, finally taking her eyes off of the shadowhunters to throw him her best puppy-dog look. Turning just in time so she doesn't see the entire lot of shadowhunters present tense up at his dad's name.

"Magnus as in Magnus Bane?"Isabelle asked, Sounding unfairly intrigued and Simon feels exactly when the panic enters his bloodstream. Clary's head snaps over to her and Simon suppresses the urge to just portal away right then and there. 

This was it. He was utterly fucking fucked.

"How do you know that?"Clary questions and now all Shadowhunters are focused on him. Simon shifts on the bed. This could not be more horrible. There was literally no way that this could get any worse.

"Magnus Bane is a warlock, 'The' warlock if you will. He's the high warlock of Brooklyn,"Jace breaks the news , all three are still staring at Simon and he unconsciously twists his bracelet under his hoodie.

Clary turns to look at him again, clear hurt in her eyes and he knows that whatever she says, he won't be able to lie to her.

"Simon what is he talking about?"She sounds utterly defeated and the young warlock just wants to hug her because she looks scared and he's sure she's exhausted.

"Clary...," He starts but he's not sure how to break the news. This was the literal worst time to be revealing his identity. In a room full of shadowhunters, inside the institute while his dad was out there somewhere trying to find him.

"He's not talking about your dad is he?" Her voice becomes more quiet and Simon knows she's on the verge of crying. This must be a lot to handle.

"He is," He tells her,a sad sigh escaping him. She looks completely betrayed and Simon feels pain twist in his gut so sharply he has to hold back a whine.

"Oh my God! You knew about all of this all this time?! What about you and Raphael ,are you-?"

He doesn't want to do this to her. He really really doesn't want to do this. He stands out of frustration, openly flinching when all three shadowhunters draw their weapons. Simon tries to pay them no mind as he paces.

"We were going to tell you, today actually. It was all perfectly planned out. We'd have dinner and Jocelyn would give you your stele and everything would have been fine!" He's slightly hysteric at this point. This just wasn't fair and he wanted her to know it.

"You knew?!" She screamed at him. Standing up to face him and he stops in his tracks to stare at her. She looked absolutely livid but Simon couldn't bring himself to care anymore. Today was to much.

"Yes Clary I fucking knew! I've known since we were 12! I can't exactly be ignorant about the downworld when my big brother is a Vampire and I share the warlock gene with my dad!"He yells right back at her. All anger flooding out of him when he sees her completely freeze up.

"Get out"She says quietly and the pain in his gut returns with a vengeance.

"Clary,"He tries to make her look at him but she backs away as he walks towards her. Jace puts the point of his seraph blade against Simon's chest with a hard glare.

"You heard her Warlock. Get Out,"The blonde growls in a threatening way and Simon doesn't take longer than two seconds to open a portal behind him and vanishing with it.

He comes stumbling out the other end in the middle of the apartment and doesn't bat an eye to any of the warlocks crowding the space as he walks over to his dad who was in the middle of a complicated looking tracking spell and breaking his concentration by collapsing into the man's arms.

"Segar! I was looking all over for you! Where's Biscuit?,"Magnus asks as he embraces Simon. A sob wrecks through the young warlock and he can't even begin to answer that question.

Magnus holds him tightly and Somewhere at the other side of Brooklyn, Clary Fray falls apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh that doesn't bode well for the future does it?   
> My little fam falling apart.  
> Still no ideas for potential ship changes and/or a partner for Simon?  
> -Lunatic out


	3. The boy locked out of the room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon needs somebody to talk to but it just so happened that everybody safe is either busy,kidnapped or out of reach. Guess it's time to repress some emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly angsty filler.  
> Just an fyi, Simon has dealt with mental health issues for a while, most of his thoughts are more intrusive then genuine but if any of that triggers you then I guess you could skip this part.  
> It's mostly just some character building but I like to stop for a second and address what the main character is feeling and not just moving on as if nothing happened.  
> -Lunatic out

Simon didn't know what to do. He wanted to call Luke but he didn't know the man's number from the top of his head and both Raphael and Magnus were nowhere to be found so he couldn't ask them to borrow their phone.

Magnus had held Simon for a short while but he'd eventually had to let go to calm down younger warlocks and welcome new people. The teenage warlock couldn't be angry at his dad for having to work through a crisis. Magnus was the high-warlock of Brooklyn and he had to do everything to keep his people safe. 

That didn't stop Simon from hiding in his room. He silently resented that his dad had an important position that forced him to choose for their people over his own son. Simon KNEW that wasn't fair. Magnus was trying his best and he had been looking for Simon before he arrived instead of strengthening the wards. But he needed somebody right now ,Magnus was busy and Raphael had vanished off to the hotel Dumort to take stock of all the vamps, so he had nobody.

He hadn't felt this alone since his family was killed.

He tries to go to sleep but every time he closes his eyes he sees Clary's betrayed face and hears her words. He was so stupid! He should have just grabbed her and ran when he found her at the loft. Or he should have knocked her out at the club and portaled her home. Anything but what he did do.

Anything would have been better then this!

Sometimes Simon wishes that he was a mundane and not just pretending to be one. Sometimes he wishes that his life was just a dream and he'd wake up on his 7th birthday again and his whole family would be alive. He knew that was cruel. He loved his family and he knows full well that wishing for it all to have never happened is a very low blow.

But Simon is to tired to guilt himself into thinking positively. 

There's a pain in his chest that he tries to suppress but it forces it's way up his throat and suddenly he's laughing. 

Laughing and laughing and laughing. Because this wasn't fair and he sounded like a child every time he thought that. Every time he wished that Camille had drained him dry or every time he wished to never have left that crash site at all he felt like a little kid whining about a broken toy. It's a dangerous game to play.

I wish I wish I wish 

Magnus was an amazing dad and Raphael an amazing brother. Neither of them deserved the bad words Simon's mind conjured up about them. Simon shoves his head in one of his pillows as the laughter turns into chest aching sobs. He'd give anything right now to pick up his phone (which he didn't have) and call his best friend (something he also didn't have anymore).

Because Clary is the one who usually helps him with this shit. Simon is no stranger to these thoughts and he usually gets through them but he also always had a safety blanket: Clary.

Without her he's lost. All of his coping mechanisms are built on their friendship and he hadn't really realized it until she was gone. No more midnight calls, no more abrupt visits, no more doodling on his arm until he fell asleep. Clary had sounded furious and if there's one thing the Fray's are good at it's holding a grudge.

A knock on the door interrupts any other thoughts Simon might have. A heavy feeling settles over him as he wipes his face with the sleeve of his hoodie and opens the door. His aunt Cat(arina) Is standing on the other side, her fist raised to knock a second time. He almost reaches out to hug her but sees a girl trailing behind her that looks kind of lost and upset. Aunt Cat probably wanted some privacy and his room is the only one beside's Mag's that's empty.

He gives her a shaky smile, nods and swallows back a wave of tears when Catarina smiles apologetically at him, whispering a quiet thank you as she and the girl move inside.

Chased out of his own room Simon does the only logical thing next. He goes to hide on the terrace. Chairman Meow had the same idea it seemed as she's curled up in a corner away from the other people outside. He sighs quietly and picks her up, not getting any protest as he sits down and plops the lazy cat onto his lap.

She purrs loudly and Simon feels tears spring in his eyes again.

No, He was fine. Everything was absolutely fine and Simon could handle it. He was not gong to break down in an open space. He was basically an adult now who has to stop being so emotional thank you very much.

He scoots his legs up slightly and rests his head on Chairman Meow's side. She purrs again and it's a good thing Simon has his face hidden because the tears decide to break out that very second.

Maybe he's shaking or being to loud. Or maybe it's the fact that he can't breathe and his gasping is drawing attention but there's a sudden voice piercing the whirlwind of thoughts going on in Simon's head.

"Si? Come on buddy it's getting dark out," A deep familiar voice speaks up and Simon can't resist the urge to look up despite the fact that he still has tears streaming down his face.

His uncle Ragnor stood before him with a big fluffy blanket in his hands and a worried smile on his face. Simon notices it is indeed getting darker which doesn't make sense because it wasn't daylight when he arrived here. How long had he been awake?

Ragnor's face softened even further when he sees the state Simon is in. The young warlock had managed to control his breathing but tears were still freely running down his face. How was he not dehydrated yet?

Simon gathered his bearings and cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um yeah- Yeah I'll be right there. Just uh- give me a minute," It's not the most put together Simon has ever sounded but it was acceptable for the situation. His uncle didn't seem to think so as he frowned and very slowly sat in front of Simon. The ground had cooled down, Simon noticed. Chairman Meow was peacefully sleeping in his lap without a care in the world. Simon envied her.

"What's wrong kid?"Ragnor asked. He sounded so sincere and right when Simon felt like he was about to burst out sobbing again that weird heavy calm enveloped him.

"I-," He starts, It's really not anything his uncle should be worried about. So what if Simon was completely devastated because of his lost friendship and he felt like dying every time he remembered Jocelyn was kidnapped and he couldn't sleep. So what if he hadn't eaten in what feels like days and he hadn't seen Raphael at all and all this stress was getting to him? 

Why was his uncle here anyway? The man lived in London for gods sake. Didn't he know they were in lock down? 

"It's nothing Uncle R. Just the normal stuff. " It was a real dick move to put it like that. Ragnor had never really felt comfortable talking about Simon's mental health because it got really serious at one point and the man had blamed himself for it.

Which was stupid. It was Simon's mind that produced the fucked up thoughts and his uncle had absolutely nothing to do with them. Maybe it's the whole "you're not fit for a child!" conversation Simon had overheard after He'd left Magnus to his guests the first night he met them.

All Simon knows is that the man shies away from any type of talk about Simon's mental health.

Or at least he normally would. But oh no Life had decided that this week was 'FUCK SIMON' week and everything he wished for would have exactly the opposite outcome.

Dear life, I wish to live.

No?

Apparently reverse psychology doesn't work on higher entities.

"Simon, talk to me. I can't imagine how hard it must be to find out Jocelyn was kidnapped. How- How are you holding up?"Ragnor tries,he looks absolutely uncomfortable and Simon feels really guilty for feeling bad because his uncle doesn't like to do shit like this and here he is doing it because he cares about Simon.

Ugh, he loves his family.

"I.... I'm not really holding up. I mean Clary kinda found out? And I couldn't just lie to her about me! She took it really badly and I can't sleep. Is it still Friday?"It's a long string of words said in a single breath but that's the best Simon can do at the moment.

A fond smile eases on Ragnor's face and he pushes gently against Simon's legs with his knuckles. The teen can't help but smile back at the horned warlock. 

"It'll be okay Spidey. You'll see. Clary Fray always comes running back to you. As for the Friday bit, I hate to disappoint but it's Saturday evening kid,"Ragnor tells him and Simon swears under his breath. He should probably get some food in him then. His stomach growls in agreement.

"How about this? I make us some scrambled eggs and bacon and you tell me why you've been brooding outside all day like an angsty teenager?,"his uncle proposed, he heists himself unto his feet with a groan and holds out his hand for Simon to grab.

The young warlock hesitates for a second before grabbing it and getting pulled to his feet.Chairman Meow jumps down with an annoyed hiss and Simon quietly apologizes. Ragnor drapes the blanket he'd brought outside over Simon's shoulders and both start their short trek to the kitchen.

Simon might not have Clary at the moment but at least he had his uncle looking out for him despite everything. 

Magnus and Catarina join them at 4 in the morning and Simon doesn't try to forget the worried looks both adults send him. It feels nice to be cared for.


	4. the shadowhunter detectives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shadowhunters find out some things and start to plan.

Clary feels sick. Jace had pretty much just made her torture Hodge, the man who had healed her, and now she felt like throwing up.

Her mother was a member of the circle.

'Simon and Magnus probably knew that already,' she thought bitterly. The red head knows Jace is following her. She'd felt so hurt since Simon left and maybe it was just a way of coping but Clary was glad the blonde wouldn't leave her alone.

She knows that as soon as she's alone she'll pick up her phone to call someone ,anyone.

It's highly likely that Luke also knew all along. She'd wanted to ask Hodge but felt like the man had suffered enough for one day.

"Why's she looking so upset Jace? What did you do?," a familiar female voice scolded teasingly. Clary finally stopped in the hall leading to the entrance/exit of the institute.

Jace had caught up with her but surprisingly both Alec and Isabelle had joined the parade since the last time she looked.

"Hodge told us her mother was a member of the circle. Jocelyn Fairchild." Jace explains as if she isn't standing right there.

"She thinks her mother might have hid the mortal cup from Valentine and that's why they kidnapped her"

Both black haired siblings looked shocked at the revelation and Clary really,desperately wanted to bash her head through a wall right about now.

"Could she have? Hidden the cup I mean," Alec asked ,finally turning to the red headed teen. Sounding the most soft he'd ever sounded since she met him.

"I wouldn't know! She didn't even trust me enough to tell me I'm a shadowhunter!" Clary yelled, bomb of contained emotion finally blowing up in her chest.

Jace calmly held up the sketchbook she had in her bag. The one he'd been leafing through while she got ready. Not a total invasion of privacy, noooo not at all!

"You know runes Clary, you have to remember something!" Despite his calm demeanor Jace sounded incredibly frustrated and it was for the first time since she woke up that Clary questioned what she actually knew about these people.

How did she know she could trust them?

"No I don't! Every time I try to remember it's just one big black nothingness,"She declared. Completely fed up with forceful shadowhunters and millions of questions.

A look of realization flashed through all three hunters' eyes and Clary thought absently that it really sucked not knowing things.

"You got your memory wiped," Isabelle said. Sounding so confident that Clary didn't feel like she had room to argue.

"That can be done?" She asked instead. Knowing she sounded like a small child. But she was completely terrified and she couldn't trust anybody and God she really really needed Simon right about now.

But Simon wouldn't come because he'd lied to her and she'd chased him away despite the fact that with all these things being revealed to her she's wishing more and more to forget.

"If you're a warlock then yes. They can take memories," Alec sounded slightly disgusted and Clary felt somewhat defensive immediately. Despite the fact that she was furious with Magnus and Simon, they were still her family and she wouldn't allow this dude to just insult them like that in front of her.

She's about to rip Alec a new one when Jace speaks up.

"It's pretty likely that Magnus Bane is the one to take your memories. With you being best friends with his son and all"

And that was absolutely not what Clary wanted to hear. Logically she knew full well that that was the most reasonable explanation. But it hurt to much and she just couldn't agree.

"What no! They would never-"she protested. All three shadowhunters looked at her like she was stupid but she wouldn't accept it. They'd have to shove it down her throat if they wanted her to believe that.

"Do that? Just like you though they could never lie to you? Face it Clary. They're downworlders,all they do is lie" Alec interrupts her. Clary wonders why nobody has come to see what the commotion is about. Maybe arguments like this are normal in the shadowworld. She wouldn't know.

"They may have lied to me but Simon is still my best friend! Magnus still half raised me so don't you dare talk about them like that!"The red head yells. She loved her family no matter the fact that they had lied to her! She would defend Simon,Raphael and Magnus until her last breath just like she's love and fight for her mother despite the fact she lied to her all these years.

The trio seemed to realize this. Or at least Jace did. He steps forward. Putting a hand on Alec's chest and Clary can't miss the practical heart eyes The black haired shadowhunter shoots Jace.

Good to know.

"Alright alright! Calm down!"Jace hisses. It's probably meant for both of them but Clary feels like it's more directed at Alec. Were they a couple or something?

"Clary you have to admit that it's pretty likely Magnus was the one who took your memories.He's the only one who can give them back."Isabelle speaks up. She tears her gaze away from her brother and for a split second Clary can see sympathy in her eyes. Not a couple then,got it.

She analyzes Izzy. It would do no good to keep fighting them. She knew. But she also couldn't see Simon or Magnus so soon. So she decides to lie a bit.

"Sure, but if you forgot I haven't been able to reach him, Simon or Raphael!" It's a well enough excuse. Maybe they'd buy it and either give her another option or take the long route of contacting Magnus which would give her a while to think at least.

"Then we have to go to the silent brothers"  
Jace speaks up but Clary doesn't get her hopes up because she immediately sees both Izzy's and Alec's faces fall as if they can't comprehend how stupid Jace is.

"What?! No!"Alec protests. He sounds less angry and more exasperated but still raises his voice loud enough that a few heads finally turn their way. The 4 young adults remain silent for a while and eventually everybody goes back to work.

"Jace I love you but that is the stupidest thing you've ever said"Isabelle tells him quietly. Voice so sweet and silky it send goosebumps up Clary's arms. Damn that was hot. The red head's cheeks warm up and she's so grateful that the siblings are focused on each other at the moment.

"Then what do you propose we do?" The blonde hunter asks, he sounds unbelievably annoyed that he couldn't enact his plans and Clary had to wonder what was so special about the silent brothers.

"We lure the warlock out with an offer of something he can't refuse"Izzy tells him matter-of-factly. She stalks off, back into the institute with an aura that screams 'follow me'

Clary scrambles to follow her and the two male shadowhunters follow suit. She leads them to the training floor where Clary and Jace had just tortured Hodge and the red head feels her stomach churn in discomfort.

The black haired goddess of a woman (oh my god she needed to stop thinking shit like that because she kept blushing and one of those times they would inevitably notice) walks over to the still recovering man. He looks tired and actually groans when he sees them approach.

"I have a feeling you have something that could lure a warlock out of hiding" Isabelle says. Completely skipping the pleasantries. This seems like the right call because the man perks up visibly. He forces himself to stand on shaky legs and both Jace and Alec move forward to help him walk over to his desk.

"Depends on what warlock we're talking here," Hodge says after Alec settles him in his chair by his desk. Izzy turns to his screen and pulls up about a dozen of pictures of Magnus that seemed to have been taken across several decades maybe even centuries.

A soft gasp escapes Clary before she can even stop it and Jace wrongly assumes she's upset. He places a hand on her shoulder and squeezes it in support.

"Warlocks are immortal. Magnus Bane is believed to be over 300 years old but nobody has ever found the exact age. Despite the fact that he loves to show up on pictures he leaves no paper trail." Jace explains. This opens up a whole new way of thinking For Clary. So half of her family was immortal. That was....something.

"Magnus Bane huh?.... I think I got just the thing," Hodge speaks up after a moment of contemplation. He grabs his stele from his pocket and draws a rune on one of the drawers in his desk. It glows white for a second before flying open.

Inside is an array of different things. All of which look several centuries old and should definitely be in a museum instead of a simple desk drawer.

He pulls out an intricate looking necklace with a bright red ruby stone at the end of it. It looked absolutely stunning.

"If you want to lure out Magnus Bane. This is the way to do it,"

Clary doubted that Magnus was stupid enough to come out of hiding for an old necklace but who knows. Maybe he would.

It wasn't the only unbelievably convenient thing that had happened since all of this had started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter from Clary's perspective of the story? It's more likely then you think.  
> What do ya'll think? I'm sure you've spotted some similarities and differences between the events of the show and this story. Some of it will make sense soon.  
> -Lunatic out


	5. Dark and dreary summer night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus takes the bait and Simon really really wished his dad would stop doing shit like that.

An invite to a party.

No calls,Messages or anything. The shadowhunters think they're being subtle by sending Magnus an invite to a fucking party. Not that Magnus isn't planning on going anyway. No, if Simon does something stupid he gets lectured for hours and yelled at but when his dad is on the verge of doing something stupid suddenly he's the adult and Simon had no say in the matter.

This is where his love for his aunt and uncle comes in. Because both agreed with Simon that it was unbelievably stupid to leave the loft right now.

And when they couldn't convince Magnus not to go, they eventually subdued him into agreeing to take Simon with him. That way they could both keep an eye out for each other and if it really was just a meet up with shadowhunters..... Let's just say Simon was more the diplomatic type.

Magnus wasn't going down easy however. Satisfied that he was getting his way he stressed the importance of blending in with the other partying downworlders.

That's how Simon gets stuck being dressed up by his dad while his aunt Cat tries to hold in her laughter and Ragnor sends him apologetic looks every 5 seconds.

Magnus had decided that all of Simon's clothes were unacceptable,instead dragging the annoyed teen to his own closet where they have been for the past 30 minutes.

Just as Simon was ready to give and let his dad go alone the man steps out of the room sized closet with a bundle in his hands that looks 3 parts leather and 2 parts glitter.

Oh boy.

It honestly wasn't that bad. The ripped black leather pants could have come from Simon's own closet, in fact he thinks they are his pants and Magnus had just claimed them.

He wasn't in love with the black glittery loafers but they went with the outfit and Simon knew for a fact that Magnus owned a pair of these in every color of the rainbow so he should be glad that he didn't get the neon pink ones.

And sure, the glitter covered gold jacket could have come straight from a fashion magazine and Simon would have never touched it if Magnus hadn't picked it out for him,but it didn't look horrible. He's pretty happy that Magnus picked out a white shirt. Knowing his dad he could have ended up with a sequin purple one.

He goes to change and begrudgingly has to admit that he looks good in these clothes. Magnus obviously knows what he's talking about and hadn't just picked things to mess with him.

Simon steps out of the closet, no pun intended, and can't help but blush as his small family whistles and claps at his appearance.

"You look good Segar," Magnus says fondly and for a split second Simon forgets that all this shit is happening.For a second it just feels like he and his dad are going out together and plan on having fun.

He doesn't like it when he goes back to knowing his life is shit.

"Now for the make up and accessories," 

Ah the dreaded words that Simon wished Magnus wouldn't speak. Luckily he doesn't have to sit down an eternity for Magnus to apply anything. With a snap of the older warlock's fingers Simon feels his face being covered and the left side of it felt more covered then the right.

Apparently whatever Magnus had done excited his aunt because she squealed and flung herself at him to give him a strong hug. While she's holding him his uncle conjures up a small mirror with a smile on his face that looks so genuine Simon knows whatever had happened to his face won't be bad.

Glitter. Magnus had lined his eyes with a black liner and his lips had a dark red shade of lipstick on them. Everything else was glitter. His eyelids were covered in a mix of gold and a deep red, both had little sparkles in them. The left side of his face was covered in actual glitter. Big and small gold and red particles stuck to the side of his face and Simon silently prayed that would come off without leaving little pieces of glitter everywhere and slowly ruining every article of clothing that he owned by getting glitter stuck on them. 

But all in all, he looked fucking hot.

"It'd look even better if you showed your eyes,"Catarina finally spoke up as she pulled away. Simon sheepishly avoided looking in any of their eyes. Out of all of them the only ones really comfortable showing their warlock marks were Ragnor and Catarina. Cat had her blue skin but she wore it proudly when she was around her kind. Ragnor was the same with his horns.

Both Simon and Magnus were worse in that aspect. Simon's eyes and fangs only reminded him of his old family and Camille. Magnus had never told him why he didn't like his eyes but Catarina had told him one night that she suspected it was because Magnus' mother had taken her own life after seeing them.

That was a fairly depressing thing to hear when you're 14 but hey, he asked and Cat just gave him what he wanted.

That was not the point, the point was that Simon wasn't entirely comfortable with his warlock mark. Still, Magnus was looking at him funny and the older warlock actually had his cat eyes showing for once so maybe....

Aw fuck it.

Simon carefully undoes the clasp of his bracelet. Shivering as the warm blanket of his glamour lifts. The Family of 4 share a rare smile that sends a spark of warmth through Simon's body. 

Clapping his hands together Magnus sparks his fingers with a certain flair and opens a portal. The adults send each other meaningful looks that Simon is aware that that's their equivalent of a hug goodbye.

He walks forward without question and steps through the swirls of pink and purple. Sometimes he envies Magnus for the color of his magic. Simon himself had been scared of burning himself with his own orange magic as his body, used to the mundane, always thought it was fire in the beginning.

The party he walks into is wild. Loud speakers blast the latest big downworlder hit through them and dozens of drunk people are dancing without much rhythm. He steps forward just in time so that his father doesn't walk into him. They make their way to the suggested meet up point together.

The invitation had clearly expressed that there would be a VIP lounge. Not very subtle but it would do the trick. Magnus hadn't let him read the note attached. Maybe then he'd be able to understand why they were even out here in the first place.

It's a struggle to even get there. Worming their way through the sweaty drunken crowd. Simon is sure that it's purely Magnus' magic that makes his make up and clothes stay decent. Eventually they do get to the closed off section and the guy guarding it only looks at them for 1 second before letting them through.

Nobody's on the other side yet so Magnus settles down on the couch comfortably. 

"What even is it that they offered anyway?" Simon asks, mostly to fill the silence but also to ease his nerves. He doesn't move to sit next to his dad,instead pacing back and forth. 

"It's worth it,"Magnus answered, Simon knows that's the best response he's going to get. His dad had gone as far as to burn the note attached. Even for being a dramatic man he normally wouldn't do that. It's more pacing from there. Simon can't seem to stand still and every second that goes by where they're alone he gets more nervous.

The music is still booming loudly in the background and the room is occasionally lit up from it's darkness with colorful flashing lights.

Maybe that's why they don't see the threat until it's almost to late. Simon hears Magnus call out his name just as his back is turned to the man and then there's a whiz of noise that flies past him. A loud grunt comes from behind him as somebody drops to the floor and Simon stares in shock at the Circle member that had snuck up on him. The man had a blade out that had now stopped glowing. An arrow was sticking out of his neck.

Alec comes through the opening of the private room and Simon suddenly wishes to be anywhere but here. How did he not make the connection? Maybe that was why Magnus had insisted they go. God he was fucked.

Magnus rushes forward,taking Simon's face in his hands to check if anything was wrong. Worry is clear in his eyes and the young warlock knows that his dad wouldn't stay very long.

"Are you okay? Do you want to go home?," Magnus asked. And God how Simon wished he could say yes. But he knows this must be important and fuck it he kind of selfishly wanted to see Clary again.

As if on cue the red head comes strolling in with Isabelle and Jace in tow. She looks just as worried as Magnus and Simon feels the heaviness in his chest lift if just slightly. "I'm fine dad," he tells his father, shooing away his hands and straightening to face the shadowhunters.

"Thank you, for saving my life.," Simon tells Alec. He'd prefer not to die just yet thank you very much. The black haired shadowhunter just nods at him and Simon knows he won't get much more then that.

"Biscuit, Shadowhunters. To what do we owe the pleasure?,"Magnus asks, acting as if they hadn't invited him in the first place. His dad was a proud man.

Isabelle doesn't say a word. Instead reaching to undo the zipper of the jacket she's wearing, revealing a beautiful silver necklace with a ruby red stone. He knew exactly what this was but he didn't really want to think about the implications. It kind of reminded Simon of his own br-... Oh shit.

Clary was openly staring at them and Simon really really wished he had brought his glamour bracelet with them. He tries to smile at her, immediately closing his mouth when he realizes that his fangs would be visible too. This was not how he hoped she'd see him as himself for the first time.

Izzy undoes the clasp of the necklace and Simon realizes he missed a part of the conversation to the staring contest he and Clary were holding.

He steps forward with a roll of his eyes as Magnus reaches out to just take the thing. He swats the hand away and doesn't even scoff when Magnus lets out an amused snort. 

"Never careful old man. This could have been in several other's hands since you had it last,"" Simon scolded lightly. Flaring his fingers up with magic and ignoring the small gasp Clary lets loose at the sight of it. He starts inspecting the necklace and with a quick few pulls he discovers a couple of itching spells and discomfort potions that had touched the jewelry in the last few years.

"Nothing to serious, Sometimes I wonder how you survived without me."Simon jokes as he finally takes the jewel from Izzy's hands. He turns it over in his palm and Magnus steps closer to read the inscription. He nods in confirmation that it's real and goes to take it from Simon.

The young warlock absently rubs over the two small circular scars on his wrist once the necklace is off his hands. A silence settles over them, music still going strong in the background.

"What do you want for it?"Simon finally asks. He has a feeling he already knows what it'll be but if he just plays ignorant then maybe he'll feel less guilty.

"My memories," Okay that was a shock, not the fact that Clary knew about all that, he kind of figured, but the fact that she didn't sound to mad about it. Maybe this was all getting to her like it was getting to him.

She honestly just sounded tired. He wondered if he would open his arms if she's hug him or-

A strong feeling of wrongness crosses through him and he sees that Magnus feels it too.

"The loft. We have to go, right now!"Simon stressed, already working on opening a portal. The shadowhunters started to protest but Magnus stepped forward. He clasps the necklace back around Isabelle's neck and looks at Clary right in the eye.

"My people are under attack, we'll discuss this later," With that settled Simon walks through the portal he created with his dad right behind him.

They walk in on utter chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh what could possibly be happening?  
> Soon there will be some actual Alec&Magnus interaction and Clary and Simon will talk I promise.  
> Just hold onto your horses!  
> -Lunatic out


	6. Party gone wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon ruins Magnus' shoes and the loft gets a makeover.

Simon felt like throwing up. This couldn't be happening, this could not be happening.

But it was. Despite the fact that Simon wished he was just having a nightmare the scene he walked in on was all to real.

There were bodies everywhere. The shadowhunters who did this not seeing a point in "dustifying" the warlocks they killed. It was a massacre. And it was shadowhunters alright. No mistaking the sizzling marks as anything but a seraph blade injury.

A feeling he doesn't really register blooms in his chest.

Julian, a humble store owner from downtown, was fighting off 2 shadowhunters with circle runes on their necks.

Magnus, who was right behind Simon, pulls one off with his magic and that's all Simon needs before he does the same.

There were at least 3 more in the room with them, all fighting different surviving warlocks. Simon tried really hard not to wonder where his aunt and uncle were.

He puts the two shadowhunters they ripped off of Julian to sleep and forces his hands to stop shaking as he feels his magic rip the life from them instead.

He realizes the feeling in his chest is anger. Pure unadulterated rage and deep down he knows it was never his intention to put the circle members to sleep.

Magnus moves forward to deal with another hunter. Simon focuses of finding survivors. He opens a portal to a private resort in Brazil that Magnus owned and ushers at least 6 live warlocks through it before handing the 7th the address and closing it.

Two little kids. Both girls with long hair come stumbling towards him with a man in tow. He looks desperate as he held another man in his arms. Simon forces back the tears in his eyes as he summons a portal to Dubai.

Another small group passes through before he repeats the process. Giving the adress and closing the portal.

The room clears slightly, Simon is relieved that some of the bodies were just those unconscious or pretending to be. Others are dragged by close ones through random portals Simon opens up.

He feels completely drained and ready to drop dead. Magnus is struggling to hold his ground against a blonde haired circle member and the young warlock wants to help but he's shaking on his legs and he can't seem to focus enough to pull the man away from his dad.

The blonde pulls out a seraph blade with he full intention of stabbing Magnus with it. Simon sinks to his knees a few feet away from them.

Bile rises in his throat, there's bodies all around him still. Eyes staring unseeing up to the ceiling. He wanted it all to stop. He closes his eyes so he doesn't have to stare at them anymore but the sounds of struggle leave a lot up for imagination.

A stabbing noise fills the air and Simon waits for the familiar 'whoosh' sound that comes with being dusted by a shadowhunter's blade.

His dad was dead his dad was dead his dad was dead his-

A grunt and then quick footsteps towards him. Simon dares to open his eyes. Confronted by Magnus crouching in front of him. Which didn't make any sense because he was dead. But a glace at the side showed him the shadowhunter who his dad had been fighting ,laying lifelessly on the ground. A knife sticking out his back.

Jace was standing in the doorway. Arm still outstretched and Simon swears he could kiss the guy if he had any energy to spare.

Clary comes stumbling in behind Jace with the rest of his team and a little warlock girl. With all of that settled. Simon retches onto the floor. His very late dinner/ early breakfast? That Ragnor had made him coming back up and spilling on the nice carpet.

Magnus doesn't even flinch when some of it touches his shoes. His dad is running his fingers through Simon's sweat matted hair and the comfort itself makes him throw up again.

Magnus had almost died.

"It's okay Segar. We're okay. I'm going to move us now. Can you stay right here?" Magnus asked softly. Simon manages to nod and closes his eyes again.

The older warlock moves away from him and Simon distantly hears him say something that he cannot hear.

The feeling of his dad's magic engulfs him and he feels them move location. The whole loft moved to a more secure place. The presence of death vanishes around him and that just makes him more aware that it had been there in the first place.

He throws up again.

Magnus is by his side after another second. He's cleaning up the mess Simon made with a snap of his fingers as if he wasn't drained at all but Simon can feel Magnus' arms tremble as he helps him up.

Another person is by his side in seconds. At the moment Simon couldn't give a shit about who was helping him up. What mattered was that they had to basically drag him to the couch.

They let him go and he collapses unto the plush monstrosity. It was bright pink this time and Simon couldn't help but smile.

Trust his dad to redecorate while getting them to safety.

He hears the sound of a portal opening in the background and wonders where Magnus sent the little girl off to.

"What's wrong with him?," what sounds like Clary asks. Simon forces his eyes open to stare at the wall. He feels really really tired but he doesn't want to fall asleep.

"He overused his magic. Opening portals draws a lot out of you.... I know just what to do to fix it," Magnus answers with a soft tone of voice. Simon hears the soft click that comes with Magnus unlocking his phone.

After a silence that stretches what feels like hours a soft tune starts playing out of the speakers. Simon feels his magic reaching out in an instant. His eyes closing against his will.

Magnus seriously cannot be recharging him by playing careless whisper by George Michael.

Nevertheless it started working. It was a cool little trick Simon found out when he was 13. His dad had just started teaching him stronger spells ranging from manual glamours and body transfiguration.

Normally he'd be so spent that he'd collapse in his bed but the practice had payed off and he was more energized then normal.

That's how he ends up listening to set it off at 2 am with his headphones in. He didn't know the feeling surrounding him wasn't adrenaline, not until he suddenly couldn't sit still anymore.

Needless to say, him and Magnus found out he got energized by music the hard way.

At the end of the song Simon felt strong enough to keep his eyes open. He looks around the room as another old song starts playing.

Alec and Isabelle are having a quiet conversation in the corner. They look like they're talking about something private so Simon doesn't try to listen to what they're saying.

Jace had sat himself down on a love seat and was leafing through a magazine that must have been laying about.

The real shocker was Clary, who was holding his hand and most likely was the one who'd helped his dad bring him over to the couch.

She looked genuinely worried. Something Simon thought she could never feel for him again. He's straining himself to sit upright and greedily grabs the phone from Magnus' hands. Softly humming along to the tune that's coming out of it. The young warlock didn't know the name of it but he thinks it might be 'Hush _something"

Little tendrils of magic wrapped around Simon's hands. He's content to just sit there and recharge for hours but knows a serious conversation is coming soon.

"Look can you get the girl's memories back or not?" Alec finally speaks up. Isabelle looks annoyed and Simon feels like the 'private' conversation he'd seen them have was over whether or not they should wait until the atmosphere of the room lightened.

Alec was apparently impatient. Simon watched Magnus eye the black haired shadowhunter and forced himself to hold back a groan. That look was familiar. Way to familiar.

Magnus was looking to get him some of that...

Not that he would get any,even an emotionally repressed person like Simon could see how deep in the closet Alec had forced himself. If the young warlock remembered correctly homosexuality wasn't really popular among shadowhunters.

Something to do with politics and the inability to carry a child. Simon honestly didn't care. His demon heritage made him unable to make children and he honestly didn't get the need for one just yet.

Honestly sometimes the warlock questions why Magnus took him in. Children are exhausting.

"I'm fine Alec thank you for asking," Simon says instead of answering. He pulls himself to his feet ,ignoring both his dad's and Clary's protest.

When he's on his feet he walks over to the little drink stand and pours himself a glass of water.

"As for the memories,"he continues, turning to face the room and cringing when he has to brace himself against the walls "Jocelyn thought it was an excellent idea to feed them to a memory demon so that the information Clary knew couldn't be tortured out of my dad."

That silences the room, the only noise being the music Simon was still using as a crutch.

"So we can't get them back and this was a waste of time," Jace bites out bitterly. Simon holds back a rude retort that would have been borderline depressing. The mood was already dark enough thank you very much.

"He never said that,"his dad interrupts. There's a playful smile on his face and yet again Simon realizes that his glamour is off. He absently circles his fangs with his tongue.

He walks away from the small group and into Magnus' room, ignoring any eyes that follow him. Rummaging through the drawers he lets out a relieved sigh when the cool leather of the bracelet touches his fingers.

He clasps it back around his wrist and goes back to the living room where Magnus was calmly explaining the logistics of getting memories from a memory demon.

Clary doesn't seem to be listening anymore. Eyes focused on following Simon.  
She looks fascinated and Simon can only assume it's his warlock mark that she's wondering about.

"Ah! Segar just in time, Alexander here came up with a brilliant plan!"

Oh boy, the look in the older warlock's eyes promised nothing good.

Simon felt like throwing up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whelp probably not the meeting you all desired but i promise it'll get better! Next chapter the talking really happens and maybe have some father son talk.  
> -Lunatic out


	7. The better plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon is pretty much done with all the stupid shit these shadowhunters keep spouting.  
> He comes up with much better plans anyway.

"Why do I have a feeling I won't like it?"

The room fell into an uneasy silence and with that Simon was sure he wouldn't like whatever they had to say. Magnus shifted uneasily on his feet and the young warlock got the feeling that his dad knew he would hate the 'plan'.

"We're summoning the demon to get Clary's memories back, if it goes wrong we'll kill it"Jace eventually spoke up, he sounds proud of himself, Simon can't believe them. Were all shadowhunters this stupid or was it just this bunch that happened to posses no brain cells.

Or were they just so cocky that their supposed bravery had turned into stupidity without them noticing it. With nephelim folk you could never be sure.

"No."Simon said, and he meant it. He'll be damned if he would allow them to do something so monumentally stupid it might actually end up in history books as the dumbest shit a shadowhunter had ever done.

"Simon-"His dad tried to protest but his voice died down at the fire he saw in his son's eyes. That protective flame that would never die down as long as he lived. Simon had lost one family once and he would not, ever, allow this one to fall to ruin because of some stupid plan.

"No dad, summoning a memory demon is dangerous. We could get killed,"Simon protested. His voice fierce and stance rigid. The blond shadowhunters reached for his blade again and that was all it took to remind Magnus they were not friends or allies. 

except well-

"So getting my memories and my mom back doesn't matter to you?!"Clary yelled, the conversation finally registering in her mind. She looked just as mad as Simon, face red and fist clenched. Magnus briefly wondered if he would have to break up a fight in the near future.

"Not if it gets my family killed!"Simon retorted and the room fell pray to silence again. Clary was staring at the young warlock with her mouth hanging open and even Mr unemotional shadowhunter looked pained at Simon's words despite not knowing his history.

"Clary, i can't lose another one,"That seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back. All of Clary's resolve visibly fled her and Magnus knew she understood. Her memories were not worth their lives. 

"I-"She started to protest. No words coming to her aid because she didn't want to fight for it anymore. She had just lost her mother and she wasn't prepared to risk the lives of her honorary father and brother. Even if they lied to her all of her life.

"He's right. We can't ask them to do this," Alec spoke up before Clary could give in. He still had pain in his eyes and Simon tried to recall any information on the Lightwood family. As far as he knew they hadn't really lost any family. He did remember Magnus mentioning once that the Lightwood's had a third baby on the way. They had never really talked about it after that. Maybe the shadowhunter life made one more aware of loss. 

"What?! Alec this was your idea!"Isabelle protested. She sounded angry and if Simon had to guess he'd say that she'd protested the idea in the first place . That she wasn't pleased that her brother wouldn't listen to her but would listen to a person he barely knew. 

Simon had had disagreements with Raphael like that. It was a really bad feeling.

"Yes and it mostly came up because I didn't have a second to think between fighting and Clary's endless complaining."Alec snapped back, he sounded annoyed and kind of stuck up. Simon secretly wished that a new hotter person would waltz into Magnus' life soon because this Alec dude seemed a bit of a 'the law is hard but it's the law' kinda guy. He'd break his dad.

"Besides Fray,Wasn't Simon your best friend or something?"Alec asked, breaking Simon's train of thought. Clary looked kind of sheepish as if she realized she had been rude this entire time. She glanced up at Simon again but didn't say anything.

Alright that kind of stung but it wasn't unexpected. Clary looked like a kicked puppy and the shadowhunters surrounding her looked varying degrees of annoyed and tired. 

Time to do what he did best. Defuse awkward situations.

"Look, I'm just saying that 'summoning a memory demon' with as only back up plan to stab it.... isn't the best idea,"He started. Seeing their interests peak almost immediately. Somebody never said something like that unless they had an idea of their own.

"Then what do you propose we do?"Isabelle asked sounding intrigued. She sat herself down on the armrest of the couch and leaned forward to hear him out. Jace finally put the magazine he was still holding away and Alec crossed his arms.

"Silver circle the bastard,"Simon smirked, it's something he'd wanted to do ever since he'd read about it at the age of 9. Magnus had always said vague things when he'd brought it up like 'when you're older' or 'when the time comes' which did nothing to placate Simon's small obsession.

The older warlock had a knowing look in his eyes but smiled anyway. It was a good solution after all.

"Yes! Lucifer ,I haven't done one of those in ages,"his dad said, he sounded genuinely excited and Simon was glad he wasn't the only one. Magnus had once told him the last time he'd performed a ritual like that was in the 1920's in Italy. He'd never gone into details but the memory seemed mostly good. Even if the warlock occasionally had a haunted look in his eyes when recalling the event.

Simon had long since started associating that look with what he dubbed the 'Camille syndrome'. 

"What's a silver circle?"Clary asked, as ignorant as she was Simon had a feeling she would be learning really fast. She always loved asking questions and was mostly unafraid to look stupid by asking them.

Simon himself had struggled with that his whole life. He just couldn't ask questions sometimes. That was the difference between him and Clary she learned things by asking Questions and Simon learned by reading and listening. 

"It's a trap that even a greater demon can't break out of. A circle of molten silver placed in some kind of ritual. Almost everybody in the shadowworld is convinced it's just a myth," Isabelle told Clary, getting a confirming nod from both Magnus and Simon. 

"Not a myth just very tricky. You see for a silver circle to work two warlocks with eldritch connections must melt the silver with their pure magic."Magnus explained. On this subject Simon was the master of details but if he were to explain the ritual properly they'd still be sitting here the next day.

"It's a ritual which can never be done by the same two people twice. And since not many elder demons have children anymore..... well lets just say there's a reason it became a myth,"He added trying to clear any confusion and answer the obvious , 'then why wouldn't that always be used?' question.

"Wait so you-?"Izzy asked, cutting herself off and Simon fiddled with his bracelet, drawing attention to it. It's for the first time since they left the loft that Simon realizes he's still wearing his party clothes. He shakes his head like a wet dog to literally shake Magnus' magic off of him and feels relieved when the itchy feeling of make up vanishes from his face. His dad lets out a disappointed sigh but Simon just fixes him with a glare that shuts the old man up before he can complain.

"My dad was the demon leviathan,"Simon finally clears up and a look of recognition passes all shadowhunters' faces. Even Clary's who wasn't really invested in anything mythological. Maybe because Leviathan is also a monster in Jewish religion? Could it be that Clary Fray actually listened to him when he rambled about stories from his religion?

"The serpent of the sea"The red head whispered in awe.It shocked Simon a bit. So she had actually been paying attention? A new wave of warmth bloomed in his chest reminding him that he needed to check in with his aunt and uncle. They were probably fine but Simon could never be sure enough.

"Yes,That one! Which means me and my dad are qualified to do the ritual,"Simon said. He felt like it was all coming together pretty well. Now to prepare.

"So what do you need to do? And more importantly is there something we can do?" Jace asks. He sounds less cocky and more tired. Reminding Simon that they hadn't slept in a while probably. He felt great himself but from various articles he read at 4 in the morning he knew that he'd soon crash.

"We'll need silver, lots of silver. Preferably pure. And dried roses and lavender,"Simon said, he looked at his dad for confirmation and the man nodded at him. He looked tired too and Simon guessed the drain of magic was finally catching up to him too.The fact that his bedroom was 5 steps away probably wasn't helping.

"I have some lavender and silver stored but I'll need to go to the storage to get them, I suggest two of you walk to the nearby graveyard and collect some roses from graves. Preferably red ones,"The young warlock directed. 

"How about I take pretty boy here to the cute little graveyard by Tom's bakery and you take the others to the storage? "Magnus suggested. Jace looked almost affronted when Magnus walked over to Alec. As if he was offended the warlock didn't think he was pretty.

Simon honestly thought Jace was way prettier then Alec but his dad had a taste in men and it was usually black haired and hard to get.

Off topic.

"Sounds like a plan, Way better then the last one at least," Simon decided to tease. Alec's cheeks were getting red as if he was trying to fight it off but it wasn't working.

"So we head to the storage and you guys have a graveyard date. What could go wrong?"Izzy teased.

Simon will forever blame her for everything that went wrong after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lone graveyard date-not-date between an invested warlock and a clueless brooding shadowhunter?  
> There's absolutely nothing that could go wrong there!  
> Same goes for a group of teenagers breaking into a storage unit at 4 in the morning.  
> Nothing could go wrong at all.  
> Damn Isabelle for jinxing them.  
> -Lunatic out   
> (Ps: what'd you think?)


	8. The graveyard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon wakes up to chaos and just wants to go back to sleep.  
> Life has other plans.

It's Magnus who decides they should probably recharge first before doing more about Clary's memory problem.

The shadowhunters protest in the beginning but not 2 minutes later Jace is sat asleep in the chair he'd been sitting in. The rest give up any argument after that.

Already somewhat recharged it's Simon who conjures up some beds in the middle of the living room. His dad gives him a grateful look. Glances between him and Clary once before moving to his bedroom.

Simon isn't even surprised that the man doesn't take his phone back. Probably already forgotten that his son had it.

Pretty soon some poor person would wake up to find themselves without their phone and Magnus would magically have a new one, all his contacts already on it.

It had happened before and it would probably keep happening because Magnus didn't give a shit.

Simon doesn't dare to even glance at Clary as he walks to his room. He hears Izzy collapse onto one of the beds with a tired sigh, soon followed by a softer grunt that sounded suspiciously like Alec.

He opens the door to his bedroom and finally finds the balls to take a peak behind him. Alec and Isabelle had settled themselves on the beds and were halfway to sleep already which was pretty predictable with how long they'd been awake.

Clary however sat on the edge of her bed twisting her fingers nervously and Simon knew that if he stayed any longer she'd speak up and they'd talk.

He wasn't really ready for that.

He steps inside his room and closes the door with an audible click.

He waits maybe 15 minutes in silence by the door to see if Clary would dare to come knocking but when everything remained blissfully silent the young warlock let himself fall onto the bed.

Reaching into his pocket he pulls out his dad's phone. It doesn't take to long to find what he's looking for.  
\---  
 **The most awesome group chat:**

 **Magmoose** :' Hey, it's Simon. Dad passed out from the stress of the day but I wanted to make sure you're both okay.'

 **Ragnorok:** 'We're fine. We were both doing check ups with warlocks who refused to come. Couldn't get back in the loft after it shut down. Heard what happened.'

 **Catwoman** : 'Make sure your dad gets some rest okay? And you too little one. Goodnight Simon❤'

 **Magmoose** : 'Goodnight aunt Cat, will do. I love you guys❤'

 **Ragnorok** : 'We love you too'

\------

With a content sigh, knowing his family is alright and safe. Simon falls asleep.

~~~~~~~~

He's awoken by yelling. A lot of it.  
It's loud and annoying and he had half a mind to just shut whoever was doing the yelling up with a bit of magic.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes Simon glances outside and sees that it's still dark out. Or was it again? He wouldn't be surprised if they all passed out long enough for the day to go by. He reaches for Magnus' phone but realizes it's dead before he even touches it.

He doesn't bother picking it up.  
Instead finally shrugging off the gold jacket his dad had made him wear. He slips out of his clothes and heavily contemplates whether or not to take a shower.

Deciding that it would take to much time,as the yelling was still going on, Simon preforms the warlock version of Harry Potter's scourgify. Willing himself clean.

He grabs his glasses from his nightstand, not sure how they got there as he's pretty sure he fell asleep with them on, and then puts on a more normal attire.

For him that means worn black jeans,a science pun t-shirt and a random pair of beat up sneakers that were laying around.

He grabs a khaki green jacket before heading out of his room, trying it around his waist for now. They would be heading out pretty soon though so it was better to be prepared.

The scene he walks into is a sight to behold.

Jace is being held by Raphael, who must have just come in. The blonde shadowhunter's face had started to turn a lovely shade of red.

Magnus was looking completely unimpressed a few feet away from them. Two plates of pancakes in his hands and at the sight of food Simon's stomach rumbled.

Clary, Izzy and Alec were around Jace and Raphael in a half circle. The siblings holding up their weapons looking ready to strike.

"Rapha! You're okay!" Simon called over enthusiastically. Mostly to get the vamp to let go of Jace but also because he was genuinely glad to see him.

He hadn't seen Raphael since the day before Clary's birthday. Which was 3? 4? Days ago. It wasn't exactly flattering that Simon couldn't remember what day it was.

As predicted Raphael drops Jace like dead weight and rushes over to Simon. The young warlock braces himself and manages to stay on his feet when Raph barrels into him. Arms wrapped tightly around him.

Simon returns the favor and almost tightens his grip when his brother starts letting go. He doesn't tho, separating from the vampire and beaming at him.

"Care to tell me why you had hottie #2 against the wall big brother?" Simon asks, genuinely curious. He raises his eyebrows in a very Raphael way and watches said vampire snort in amusement.

"I came here to warn you about Camille and suddenly smelled shadowhunter,that wasn't Clary or Jocelyn," his brother offers as an explanation and Simon accepts it easily.

Who knows what he himself would do if that occurred. He'd probably kill them all.

"What did Camille do nino? You know what, whatever it is you can explain over breakfast/dinner" Magnus sounded worried. The shadowhunters had yet to relax. Looking at Raphael as if he would attack them at any given moment.

Simon and Raph walk over to their dad when he mentions them all to the kitchen. There is a whole stack more of pancakes and a fresh pint of blood on the table.

The warlocks plus vampire settled themselves in their usual spots with ease. The shadowhunters, who Simon had half a mind to dub 'team Clary' in his head, shuffled in behind them. Looking extremely weary.

It's Clary who breaks the awkwardness by sitting next to Simon. Izzy bounds over to sit next to her with Jace to the left of her. Which leaves Alec to sit next to Magnus. Not that the older warlock seemed to mind by the looks he was throwing the black haired boy.

Raphael starts explaining, Simon is halfway through his meal when he loses his appetite.

Because Camille was stalking him, again. Raphael thought it possible that she'd soon make a move. The ones not aware of the history between Simon and she-demon looked disturbed but mainly confused.

Magnus starts clearing away the plates while Simon stares out in front of himself.  
If Camille caught him again he's not sure what she'd do.

He shivered even thinking about it.

Raphael glanced at his watch and informed them he had business to attend to. He looked reluctant to leave and if Simon was honest with himself he wished that his big brother could stay.

Once it was just him,his dad and team Clary Magnus decided to speak.

"Maybe it's not smart to go out tonight Segar," he said softly,but Simon heard the fear in his voice. He also saw the resigned look in his dad's eyes. They both knew full well that Simon never backed out of his plans. Ever.

"You're going to the graveyard and I'll have a whole team to back me up at the storage unit. We'll meet back here in two hours. We can do this. _I_ can do this,"Simon argued back. Chest aching as his dad let out a disappointed sigh.

He nods anyway, knowing the young warlock would go behind his back if he didn't and instructed the rest to get themselves ready.

Magnus felt dread pooling in his stomach as they all left the loft as a group, stepping into the warm summer air even at night.

He forced himself to turn away from his son and walk the opposite direction with Alec at his side. 

Alexander.

The shadowhunter intrigued him. All throughout team Clary's stay at Magnus' loft the black haired man had held the warlock's attention.

The way he shied away from Magnus' advances and compliments. How he tried to force himself not to flush when Magnus flirted with him. It was a puzzle he was determined to crack.

"Would you mind if I called you Alexander? I find it such a waste when people shorten such beautiful names,"the warlock asked. Alexander didn't even acknowledge that Magnus had spoken but that had never stopped the 600-year-old before.

"Well then, Alexander, I can't imagine what a perfect soldier like you is doing in a mess like this,"he teased. Directing them to the more secluded part of town. As they walked the streets got more dirty.

Trash scattered everywhere and more then a few homeless people hanging out. Magnus tried not to sympathize but couldn't help when his heart ached at the sight of an old man and his equally old dog sharing what little food the man had.

He would have nothing to do with the fact that that same man would find a few 100 dollar bills in a glove he found in a dumpster. Nothing at all.

There's a long silence between Magnus and the shadowhunter and Magnus opens his mouth to try and break it again when Alec decides to finally stop ignoring him.

"Jace is my _parabatai_ and he's interested in Clary's well being. His problems are my problems. And because her problems seem to magically be his problems now..," Alec trails off but Magnus gets what he means. He also sees the deeper message in it.

Alexander was in love, or at least, he thought he was.

That would be a problem if Magnus was going to try to woo him.

They arrived at the small little graveyard that was basically a 10 minute walk from the loft now. They'd lived here at some point,it was close to Simon's school at the time and though the streets were poor the people were unbelievably kind.

Magnus liked it here.

He opens the gate for Alexander with a shit eating grin on his face. Smile widening when the hunter mutters a silent 'thanks' in return. Progress.

They both start looking for graves that haven't been visited in a while. This little graveyard didn't have a groundskeeper. Some townsfolk would come together thrice a year to clean it up a bit but the last time seemed to be been months ago by the state the graveyard was in.

Long enough for the flowers that had been left here, bought with hard earned money, to have dried out.

Magnus and Alec work in silence for a while, shifting through bouquets to collect dried roses and lavender. It's nearing the 30 minute mark with a good bag filled with dried flowers before Magnus decides to risk it.

"You know, it's not east figuring it out," he speaks up. Immediately getting Alexander's attention. Those dark eyes bore into his own. Magnus tries not to flinch at the sincere confusion and downright hurt in the shadowhunters' gaze.

"I imagine it's really rough for you... the Lightwoods aren't really known for accepting easily...."Alec is still staring at him. Not even speaking up, not stopping him. That only adds fuel to the fire.

"You're not in love with him though," he returns his eyes to the bouquet he'd found on one Sarah Morrison's gave. She had tried young,26. Her gravestone read 'she will always be watching over us'. Magnus thought that sounded more creepy then comforting.

Maybe that had been the intention.

Alec opens his mouth, eyes turning hard and Magnus knows he's about to argue. To deny everything Magnus is saying. The warlock just shoots him a knowing look,so soft that the hunter snaps his mouth closed.

"I've seen it before, in people who have been searching for love for to long. It-"

He's cut off by his phone ringing. It's a new ringtone and for the first time today Magnus realizes he has a new phone.

How exciting.

Less exciting however was the name that flashed on the screen.

'Biscuit'

He locks eyes with Alec and picks up. Dread building up again.

"What is it biscuit?"voice laced with concern. Clary is panting at the other side of the phone. Seeming out of breath and distressed.

"They took him, they took Simon,"she cried into the phone. Magnus had to use a good portion of his normal reserve of magic to keep himself upright.

"Who Clary?"he asked in panic, breath stuck in his chest.

"The vampires"

Magnus feels ice spread in his veins and his cool breaks. Tears brim his eyes in fear but he couldn't make himself care.

Simon had been taken by vampires. That could mean only one thing.

Camille had his son.

_They should have listened to Raphael._   
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought i forgot about Camille's creepy stalker room didn't you?  
> Well i didn't and now Simon will suffer.  
> Ya'll excited?  
> Next chapter: Simon and the gang go to the storage unit and get attacked. Clary calls for help and Simon is reunited with his childhood tormentor.  
> -Lunatic out


	9. The horribly dreadful Camille Belcourt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon takes the gang to the storage unit and curses Isabelle for her big mouth.

Simon bites his lip as they walk down the street. An uneasy feeling is coiled in his gut and he started to wish that they hadn't gone out in the first place.

He cursed his stubbornness as he lead the group of 4 to his van. No way in hell that he was walking to the storage unit.

Jace turned his nose up in disgust at Simon's favorite mode of transportation. Clary actually _glared_ at the blonde when he opened his mouth to complain.

Despite the fact that they hadn't spoken yet Clary was choosing his side and that ,Simon had to admit, felt amazing.

He opens up the van and settles himself on the drivers side. Clary jumps in the passenger side without a second thought. That leaves the two shadowhunters in the back. Izzy lets out an impressed hum as she stares at the flower covered walls. Jace just glares out through the front window.

The young warlock scoffs and starts up the car. The storage unit honestly isn't that far out. But Simon was admittedly still a bit tired and he didn't like wasting precious energy on walking when he had better ways to transport himself.

The drive takes maybe about 7 minutes. Long enough for the silence that hung over them to become incredibly awkward.

Once they park Simon hops out and starts walking to the storage unit Magnus had started renting since this place was created.

The small group of shadowhunters follow him. The walk would take a good 15 minutes and Simon knew conversation was inevitable.

What surprises him is that Jace is the one to speak up.

"What even happened between you two? you keep talking as if you've known each other since the crib but some things don't add up"The blonde hunter says. He sounds genuinely curious and Simon feels a weird emotion cross through him when Jace shoots well hidden heart eyes at Clary.

The young warlock stiffens a bit, not knowing exactly how to answer that. He looked at Clary for help but realized that even she didn't have the full story.

"I erm.... my mundane family was killed in a car wreck,"Simon decides to say. It's open enough that the shadowhunters will get what he's trying to say without having to explain the severe trauma he went through.

Perfect.

If only Clary didn't melt at the confused look Jace shot her.

"Simon was nowhere to be found, the authorities thought he might have ran but eventually determined that the amount of blood they found was to much for a young kid to survive. They thought, since they lived nearby the woods, that a wandering coyote might have dragged him off,"she explains and Simon felt really close to groaning.

A cryptic ass explanation like that left him with no room to explain everything away as he normally would. He'd have to tell the truth here.

"Camille Belcourt kidnapped me and drank from me" Simon blurts before he can stop himself. It hurts in his chest, especially with the looming threat of his childhood tormentor being renewed.

He isn't surprised when both shadowhunters stop in their tracks and gape at him as if he'd just pulled a live monkey out of his ass.

"That's against the accords!"Isabelle protested. As if he didn't know that. He glares at her and keeps walking. He's not stupid. He knows the fights Magnus and Raphael used to have had everything to do with the fact that Camille has acted against the accords.

That if Simon stepped forward she'd be executed.

"We are well aware of that,"he informed the group, he prays that they'd arrive at the storage container already but knew that it was at least 6 minutes out.

"Then why didn't you report this incident to the Clave?"

Oh _now_ Jace wanted to listen to his precious Clave. Simon was 99.9% sure that team Clary's mission hadn't been approved.

"They wouldn't have been able to keep me safe. I'm a warlock, they can't look passed that. I would have been dead by the end of the week."

Another silence. This one felt more suffocating then the last and Simon didn't know how that was even possible.

"Who and what is this Camille Belcourt person?"Clary pipes up. Effectively breaking the silence. Simon had to force himself not to stop and stare at her. It's only natural that Clary didn't know about the queen vampire. She has only been dragged into this world a couple of days ago.

"Camille is the leader of the New York clan. She's a vampire who has lived centuries." Isabelle explains and Simon feels kind of grateful. He doesn't want to talk about Camille.

Not now and not ever actually.

"Simon did she-"

He's unbelievably relieved when he sees the storage unit the whole trip was about. He doesn't want to answer Izzy's worried question, even if she didn't finish it.

He absently rubs the two circular scars on his wrist before wordlessly pointing to the faded blue garage door.

Luckily the team's attention is diverted towards the storage unit.

Simon doesn't say anything as he steps up to it. He shrugs off the backpack he brought. Ignores the stares he feels on his back and instead unzips the biggest slot.

Pulling out a bolt cutters.

Izzy makes a questioning sound, which makes him look up.

"Didn't you say you owned this place?"Jace sneered. Looking unfairly smug for a shadowhunter who was following an until recently mundane girl around like a lost puppy.

"Magnus started hiring out this lot since the early 1930's. Every time he comes here he locks up and loses the key. He'll be replacing this one within the hour with his magic," Simon explained. Already snapping the lock in half. He pushes the garage door open. Smiling as the familiar smell of herbs and old books fill his nose.

The unit is much bigger on the inside then it looks on the outside. Magnus had expanded the space long before Simon was even born, but the teenager had added a room or two when he was 16.

Essentially it was a small apartment. With everything a person should need. Two bedrooms,a kitchen,a dining room,living room and bathroom.

Simon's favorite room though, one of the ones he added a few years back, was the potions room.

Magnus usually did all of his work in his office in the loft. They had never needed a separate space until Simon decided that it was time to experiment with everything he's ever learned.

Questioning the process of potions every step of the way so much that Magnus had forced him out of his office more then once. Simon made this space for himself.

He doesn't bother to look and see if they follow him. Only slightly relieved when he heard the garage door slide closed again.

The lights jump on automatically as he walks passed ,towards the potions room. The worn red door draws a smile out of the young warlock.

He pushes it open and holds it , allowing the 3 shadowhunters who were right behind him to enter the room before him.

Simon can't help it when he snorts at the obvious awe on the hunters' faces. They look genuinely shocked and now Simon kind of regrets not looking behind him when they entered the unit.

"Those yellow boxes over there should be filled with dried flowers, one of you be a dear and get it for me will you?" He asks with a unusual bout of Magnus' sass.

Jace huffed in annoyance at being ordered around but went to go grab the box. Simon grimaces as he moves to his usual work space and sees black gunk dried on one of his cutting boards.

He nudges the board off of the table and into an awaiting trashcan, already occupied by a half melted cauldron in which similar looking black gunk was stuck in.

Both girls threw him questioning looks but Simon just shrugged.

"I like to experiment," he gave for an explanation. Not wanting to retell the story of how he almost created a living dead potion by accident and that a tiny drop of it had gotten on his arm and burned all the way though like acid.

Another weirdly circular scar to add to the mix. Why not?

The young warlock doesn't fall for any more questioning looks as he starts shifting though boxes that are stood on his work station.

The potion he had attempted to make had also required Silver. Which meant that there should be a whole box on his desk.

If only he could find it .

Jace makes the task even more difficult by dropping the yellow box Simon asked him to grab onto the already full desk. Causing some boxes to nearly slide off the side.

"Thanks sweetheart," Simon manages to sarcastically mutter, smiling at Jace in such a fake way he sees Clary actually flinch from the corner of his eye.

Or perhaps because he'd called her new crush 'sweetheart'. Simon didn't really care anymore. He was still tired, separated from his family and having to deal with nosy annoying shadowhunters.

He's about to snap at the hunters that they had hands too when the sound of the garage door opening sounded throughout the mini loft.

He stilled in his place like a deer caught in headlights. Shooting the two experienced shadowhunters a look that had them standing by the door with weapons drawn.

A long silence stretches between them. Simon's shoulder tense more every second   
, he feels bile rising in his throat at the anticipation.

Simon is ready to step forward and rip the door open when it flies off it's hinges and crashes into the room.

A young girl, who could barely be 16, smiles innocently at them.

"Knock knock," she says before flashing towards Simon. Isabelle snaps her whip out at her, catching the girl by the wrist. Jace drives his seraph blade through the girl's back before Clary can even open her mouth to scream.

There's two men following behind the girl almost instantly. She had not even fully turned to dust yet before Jace and Izzy were holding off one vamp each.

Simon steps forward to help, to rip the vampires off with his magic when there's suddenly a whimper from behind him.

He turns slowly. Fear gripping his heart as he sees a way to familiar face.

Camille is holding Clary by the throat with her fangs placed on the red head's pulse point. A deep bone chilling fear overtakes Simon's body.

This is the first time Simon had seen the queen of vamps since he was 7. She looked just as evil as he remembered. Sweet features betraying almost nothing and everything at once.

"It's been so long my little caramel," she purred. Long red claws gently running up and down Clary's arm. The shadowhunter shivered and looked at Simon with pleading eyes.

From the corner of his eye he sees the other two shadowhunters were captured as well. He wonders how they would ever survive if a war were to break out one of these years.

Camille's charming smile dropped. She looked positively threatening and every fiber in Simon's body screamed at him to just leave. Portal away and leave all of these people for dead.

The queen bitch seems to see straight through him.

"If you make a move to escape, I will drain her dry. In fact, if you don't come with us quietly I will make my precious fledglings snap the shadowhunters' necks and then you can watch as they have a little snack," her smile returns but it sends shivers up Simon's spine.

Camille raises her eyebrow, waiting for a response. She lifts Clary's wrist up to her mouth and kisses the veins in her arm softly.

Seemingly enjoying the way Simon flinched backwards.

She opens her mouth to bite in,to enjoy the heavenly blood of a shadowhunter ,when Simon frantically holds up his hands.

"Wait!," he calls, fear clear in his voice. He feels stupid for trusting shadowhunters to have his back. Fuck.

"If i come with you do you swear that none of them will be hurt?"

He sees the clear panic in Clary's eyes at the question and actually hears Izzy call out "Simon no!" But he ignores it. To focused on the woman who tormented his nightmares.

"Of course,"Camille conceded. She looked at him with lust filled eyes and he tried really hard not to cringe.

"Okay,"

He's not sure how he ends up outside held by Camille, flanked by a small army of Vampires that made Simon realize they never stood a chance.

He tries not to shake, tries to keep his breathing even and to keep the tears in his eyes.

Camille has a hand on his shoulder as she and her makeshift army move him to a place he wasn't allowed to go.

Damn Isabelle and her big mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I'll be damned. Camille has gotten her toy back. wonder what she'll do with him now...;  
> You'll have to wait to find out.  
> -Lunatic out


	10. Take my breath away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon throw up again for all the right reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE be warned there's implied non-con in this chapter,   
> Don't read it if you can't handle that. It's not graphic or actually written out and none of the characters actually say it but it's heavily implied that that is what happened.  
> I warned you.  
> If you can't read that stuff I'll put a short little summary at the bottom of the chapter in the notes so you don't feel as left out.

Simon couldn't breathe.

He felt oddly reminiscent as he looked around the room. It was essentially the same as it was 11 years ago.

Cold ,dark and creepy.

The only difference was the clear wear and tear of the years and the hundreds pages of paper stuck to the walls.

It seems Camille had been obsessively stalking him over the last year. It became glaringly obvious how she was even able to find him when he took a closer look at what the pages said.

Clary.

Certain groups had taken notice of a werewolf and a shadowhunter who seemed to have a daughter.

If Simon read it right, Camille had followed that lead and was able to look passed the dozens of protection spells Magnus had placed upon Simon.

She'd been staking him ever since. Not creepy at all.

Magnus was going to be pissed when he found out. Simon just wished he's be alive to see it. Because he had dreamed of this exact scenario for years and every possible outcome ended with him dead.

Another difference between this time and last time was that he wasn't alone now.

A black haired, stoic looking vampire that looked like Derek Hale and Damon Salvatore had a baby, stood guarding the entrance.

Another vamp, a blonde woman that could easily pass as super-girl if she wanted to, had taken her place in the corner, keeping her eyes on him.

The cherry on the fucking cake? There were wards in the room. Not the entire hotel, Simon had had half a mind to blast away his guards when they arrived, not doing it only because he was surrounded and he couldn't take on all of them.

Now that it was just 2 vamps, Simon would like nothing more than blasting them straight to hell and portaling away.

Maybe Camille knew how he escaped last time, maybe she found out about his magical origin while stalking him. Either way the room was warded against magic.

He was as close to human as it got, the only magic still working being his bracelet that was struggling hard if the erratic energy coming from it was any indication.

For the first time ever Simon wondered if he was venomous. If he bit these two vampires with his fangs, would it do anything?

If Camille bit him he might be inclined to bite back.

Might as well try to drag her down with him if she decided to take him down.

The biggest problem with that is that Camille wasn't here. Either she was trying to rile him up, which was working, or she had decided to stop playing with him, highly unlikely.

"Can you stop pacing?" Frowny Mc frownface growled out. Simon didn't say anything as he continued pacing. Closing his eyes every time he felt his glamour flicker.

In a blur the vampire had Simon by the throat, hissing in his face to scare him.   
That doesn't really work on him anymore though because he had a big brother who used that trick to get his way often.

Simon just raises his eyebrow instead. Channeling his inner Magnus. He's not impressed at all by this leather clad grumpy (sexy) fledgling who seemed to be struggling with not ripping into the young warlock's throat.

The thing was, Simon kinda needed air. So his smug look didn't last very long, face turning red with the lack of oxygen.

He tried to gasp desperately but Derek/Damon had his eyes fixed on his throat like an animal.

Finally the blonde in the corner rolled her eyes with a loud sigh and ripped Mr Sexy off of Simon.

The teen gasped for air. Coughing as he struggled to do so. The grumpy male vampire snarled at the blonde but she looked bored.

"Camille said not to touch him," she drawled, looking at her nicely manicured nails as she positioned herself back into the corner. Simon guessed she'd been a vamp a bit longer than Mr. McBroody.

Smart, to put a baby and adult in charge of Simon. Just what he needed.

"You guys know this is against the accords right?" Simon rasped out. He had to point it out, had to have hope that they didn't know and now that he informed them they'd let him go with a pat on the back.

Both vamps looked at him like he was stupid.

"This is a hostage situation, if the Fairchild girl doesn't give up the mortal cup Camille will kill you"the adult vampire informed him.

Simon felt like laughing. It bubbled up in his throat and he couldn't help it when it spilled over. He can't believe they actually thought Camille was negotiating.

She'd been obsessed with finding him, even if Clary did have the cup,which she didn't, but even if she _did_ Camille wouldn't give him up for it.

"Why are you laughing?" The fledgling sneered. He looked about ready to snap Simon's neck and at this point the teen would probably let him.

"She didn't- oh god- she didn't tell you?," he wheezed and tried to calm himself. Arms spreading to mention around the room at the pages and pages of evidence.

"This has always been about me," he rasped out.

"He's right," a coy voice sounded through the room. Fear coursed through Simon like a bolt of lightning. He shivered and tried not to look at the she-devil herself as she approached.

"Laura,Eric go stand outside. This is between me and my little caramel," she purred lovingly. Red long fingernails scraping softly against Simon's cheek.

The two vampires who had been guarding him scattered out of the room like mice. What Simon wouldn't do to be a mouse right now.

Camille gently lifted his chin, forcing their eyes to meet. Her other hand firm on his shoulder to keep him from moving away.

The pull was almost immediate, it felt as if it had never left him, as if he'd been feeling it ever since he escaped from the hotel.

That pull to her, to please her and make her happy.

Simon fought it.

He kicked and screamed inside his own head, feeling sick. He wanted to throw up, wanted to cry, but couldn't control his own body anymore.

"I've missed you so much my little Caramel," Camille purred as she raked one of her clawed hands down Simon's chest. She smirked when a dopey smile appeared on his face without his consent.

He tries to force his gaze away from her. Tries to fight her for control. It's her eyes that enchant him, her eyes that control him.

If he could just look away then maybe,maybe he could fight back.

Camille held his gaze.

Simon couldn't breathe.

_______

He wakes later, not sure when he fell asleep or when Camille had left. His shirt is missing , his pants are half off his hips, Simon felt cold.

A cold that went deeper than his body, it clung to him like a disease. His skin felt wrong and for the first time since the storage unit Simon feels in control enough of himself to throw up.

He couldn't think about it. He just couldn't.

His wrists are bloody. There's dried blood clinging to his chest and there are bite marks just about everywhere.

Scratches left by long red nails. Skin raised and pink.

He throws up again.

In a blur there's a bucket in front of him. He doesn't care to look at who gives it to him, just retches into it instead if throwing up on the floor.

The worst part about it is, he had told her _everything._

While she had-.....he told her every little thing that happened over the years. Everything he knew about Jocelyn and Clary. He'd told her about Magnus and Raphael.

And she had laughed, and laughed and **laughed**. Then he'd woken up alone and utterly fucking violated.

"Are you done?," and annoyed voice asks him. Simon blearily looks up, his surroundings blurry meaning that his glasses were gone as well.

Blondie from before is standing in front of he door, seemingly alone this time. Simon remembers Camille calling her Laura.

He doesn't say anything, afraid that if he opens his mouth he'll either throw up again or scream.

She seems to notice.

"I'm taking you to a bathroom so you can clean up," she almost sounds sympathetic, as if she hadn't expected what Camille would do to him. Simon numbly nodded. That was more than he got last time.

Laura walks over. Grabbing his shoulder and helping him up. She ignores it when he fliches at her touch, a whimper escaping his throat.

She silently leads him to a room that hadn't been there before, attached to the room Simon was trapped in.

It's a small bathroom. It has no door, probably to prevent him from locking himself up in it. Laura settles him on the toilet with the lid down. Grabbing a washcloth from the cupboard.

Simon stares at the wall, body slumped with fatigue. He feels like his chest is being weighed down and god what he wouldn't do for an actual shower right now.

His thoughts run rampant as Lauren starts cleaning the blood of his chest with a wet cloth.

He felt like he'd never get out of here. Camille was probably already half way to killing everybody he loved with all the information he gave her.

She was going to destroy him and all Simon could do was watch. Watch as she set fire to his life and let it burn.

Lauren wipes over the bite mark on his wrist and Simon feels a sob wrench itself from his chest. It's wet and ugly, he sees the blonde vampire actually flinch at the sound.

She stops cleaning for a moment, looking at him. Really looking at him.

She watches his eyes flicker like a broken traffic light. Watches as fangs unwillingly drop and retract every few minutes. And she sees.

Lauren tries not to gasp. Because the emotion in the young warlock's eyes is so clear it actually _hurts_.

Reminiscence.

A child, a warlock child, who Camille seems so found of, who she-.....the look in his eyes says it all.

This wasn't the first time she'd done this.

And Lauren becomes angry. Because Camille had promised power, just kidnap one little seemingly mundane boy and they'd have the mortal cup. They would rule the shadowworld!

But Camille hadn't done shit yet, hadn't even given Clary Fairchild the message.

All the queen of vampires had really wanted was Simon.

And as the young warlock sobbed Lauren started to plan. There was no way she'd allow another kid to die of her watch. Not again.

Simon falls asleep in the bathroom. He feels himself being picked up by hands he feels to tired to flinch away from and silently prays his dad isn't dead yet.

Magnus prays the same for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so here's a little summary for the peeps who skipped this chapter because of the warning:
> 
> Camille encanto's Simon and forces him to give up information about his family and Clary during some non-consensual activities. (none of which are actually written out but implied after the fact)  
> A vampire croonie, Lauren,who thought they kidnapped Simon for the mortal cup,comes to her senses as Simon wakes traumatized.  
> She starts to plan as both Magnus and Simon pray they're okay.
> 
> A bit more serious then before, I can never shake the feeling something more happened in the episode where Simon was kidnapped. Simon will have to deal with this from now on.  
> Rescue is on the way!  
> Some sibling bonding, a serious conversation between Magnus and Alec and a first kiss is in the near future.  
> Stay tuned.  
> -Lunatic out


	11. The blessed message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec needs some sleep and Magnus lights up a cigarette.

Everything was in chaos. Alec leaves his team alone for one god damn second and they lose just about the most important asset they have at the moment. 

_Simon fucking Lewis-Bane_

Magnus is a mess and can't focus long enough to properly cast a spell. Not that that was stopping him from trying, tiring himself out with endless attempts at finding his son.None of the shadowhunters seem to be able to get a location with their tracking rune, not even when Jace and Alec track together.

The warlock of the group is sure his son is being held in the hotel Du Mort but none of the shadowhunters can storm in there without declaring a full on war. Magnus seems two seconds removed from saying "fuck the accords" and storming the vampire clan's lair on his own. The only thing stopping him was the knowledge that if he wasn't killed he'd be executed by the Clave anyway. Speaking of their faulty government, they couldn't involve the Clave without hard proof either.

It was a thin line to walk and none of them could figure out how to walk it.

They were like newborn,blindfolded drunk fawns when it came to a situation like this.

Worst of all, Magnus couldn't get a hold of Raphael.

He'd called and called and called but the young vampire had never once answered. He was probably on some super fancy Vampire event where he couldn't be reached. At the worst possible fucking time. Magnus had called in help from both Ragnor and Catarina but neither warlock had any more luck in getting a solid location on Simon.

They were reaching into the dark and for all they knew Camille wasn't as stupid as they all thought and she'd taken Simon halfway across the country by now.

That's why it felt like Raziel had shined down on him when Alec was stopped from his now almost usual routine of heading to Magnus' loft by a fellow shadowhunter. She hadn't had to say anything more than the words "He's in the hotel" to completely stop the black haired shadowhunter's heart.

Clary and Jace who had been walking right in front of him to meet up with Izzy outside stilled as they heard this. Alec openly gaped at the woman. Feeling a tiny spark of hope in his chest that he quickly shoved down.

He wasn't even entirely sure why he was so desperate to get Simon back. Maybe it was his duty as a shadowhunter that was nagging at him to fix the problem or maybe just maybe it was the devastated look in Magnus' eyes when they got Clary's call.

Kim, Alec vaguely recalls, sighs as if she's just as tired as they are ,which at this point was probably impossible, and grabs her phone.

"I have a contact inside the vampire clan who sent me this message," She explains as she hands the phone to Alec. He silently grabs it from her and reads the message chain presented while Clary and Jace breathe down his neck.

\----

**Contact 7:**

**Vampire1** : " There's something going on at the hotel"

 **Hunter** : "Elaborate"

 **vampire1** : "Just tell the head of the institute that he's at the hotel, the back door will be open, they'll know what it means if they've been paying attention"

 **Hunter** : "Cryptic, fun!"

 **Vampire1** : "Shut up, you know I can't say much more without betraying my clan"

 **Hunter** : "Whatever, thanks"

 **Vampire1** : "you're welcome"

\------

Kim looks at him expectantly as if he was going to explain it all to her now but he literally couldn't get the words to form in his head. They now knew 100% for sure now that Simon was being held at the hotel, they also apparently had a way in.

It seemed to good to be true. And a tiny part of Alec screamed 'danger, trap, danger' but he managed to shove that down too.

"We have to go to Magnus!"Clary insists as she finishes reading the thread over his shoulder. Alec snaps out of his shocked state and starts moving back into the institute. He ignores the calls of protest and almost growls when Jace manages to stop him just before the training room.

"Alec you can't seriously be thinking of reporting to the Clave right now,"Jace said, looking at him with those god damn beautiful eyes that would usually make him melt in his place..... yet they didn't.

Alec didn't have time to question whether or not Magnus might have been right the night before, about his feelings that totally didn't exist nope Alec was not gay, instead moving passed Jace and opening their weapons arsenal. He scans over the vast array of artillery.

"We're not doing a mission like that without the proper weapons,"He said as explanation. watching Jace visibly deflate. Sometimes Alec questioned how bad his parabatai though he was. Of course he understood the gravity of the situation! It was actually rather offensive that Jace thought he'd sit through hours and hours of meetings to inform the Clave for something like this.

Shadowhunters have gone out on missions without permission for lesser reasons.

He grabs his bow and quiver, Claiming a handful of arrows that were pre-runed. It wasn't as good as the ones he runed himself but it would do for now. Jace grabs an extra seraph blade and hands another to Clary. Alec pockets two more , one for himself and one for Izzy who was probably getting worried outside.

Apparently Kim understands that a reaction like this calls for a grave situation and doesn't try to stop them as they make their way outside. Isabelle is waiting on the steps of the old church, looking bored out of her mind and perking up as soon as they step outside.

Her expression turns sour as she sees the serious looks on all their faces.

"What's going on?"She questions, stance automatically changing from relaxed to guarded. Alec tosses her the second seraph blade and starts walking. 

"We just got confirmation that Simon is in the hotel Du Mort, we're heading to the loft and then we're having a pleasant party with some undead friends,"Alec said,choosing his words carefully so that any vampires that just so happen to be nearby don't overhear anything that might incriminate them.

It's a habit that Alec can't seem to get rid of,the constant feeling that he's being watched,followed and listened to. By the smiles shared among the other shadowhunters he knows nobody notices the way his hands shake.

Or they do and they're just kind enough to ignore it.

Alec needed some sleep.

\------

Magnus was in a state of constant panic at this point. 

He was upset, worried and couldn't get a god damn drink.

He'd promised Simon years ago to never drink when he was emotional like this and now it was coming back to bite him in the ass. It wasn't like he could go back on his promise now, the guilt would eat him alive before he even had a chance to properly get wasted.

That's how he ends up doing one of his more unfavorable coping mechanisms.

He's sitting on the terrace, looking at the sunrise with dread churning in his gut like a never ending cement mixer. And as if Magic, which it probably was,he's holding a lit cigarette.

He hadn't smoked since he took in Simon, not really. A stay cig here and there hen he was out with friends or when Raphael decided to pick up the habit again for a short period of time when Simon was 8. But he'd never really relied on one in a time of stress. Not since the early 2000's .He'd started to depend more and more on his family over the years.

Obviously that had been a giant fucking mistake.

Because here he was, emotional and entirely unstable and both of his children were nowhere to be found. He wasn't to worried about Raphael because he had said that he'd be unreachable for a while (oh how Magnus wished he'd told him for how long, Hours? Days? Weeks?) But it was Simon's absence that just made his emotional state worsen.

He's about halfway done with his cigarette, staring at the nearby buildings with pure hatred in his eyes when the loft door bangs open. He startles so badly that the lit smoke falls from his fingers, plummeting to the streets below.

He moves inside, mourning the loss of his cigarette,wondering what all the noise is about when he sees his new pet team of shadowhunters looking 100% ready for battle. His attitude does a quick 180 from cripplingly melodramatic to careful excitement. This looked promising, very promising.

"We got Intel confirming Simon is at the hotel, Plus a way in,"Alec informed him. If The black haired shadowhunter wasn't so far into the closet that he could find Narnia if he turned around Magnus would have kissed him.

He still would have done it anyway if it wasn't for the fact that they were talking about his kidnapped son. One who could be hurt and dying right as they speak. Simon couldn't wait, Magnus' crush on a certain shadowhunter could.

"Let's go then,"He says, ready to take on Camille herself to get Simon back. Nobody messed with his family like that. She would pay for what she did and she would **_hurt_** while going down. Magnus would make sure of it.

Alec gives him a firm nod but holds up a hand when Magnus moves to open a portal.

"Portal to the back entrance, The door will be open for us. Me and Izzy will sneak around to the front and cause a distraction. We don't leave without Simon. If we retreat without him Camille might move him to somewhere else and the source helping us could not be able to help anymore. Understood?"Alec told them. A clear and Simple plan that seemed just a tad to desperate in Jace's humble opinion.

He kept his mouth shut.

The team plus Magnus gave their leader a nod each. Alec mentions for Magnus to continue what he was doing before. Slightly in awe as a purple swirling portal appears in the living room.

The shadowhunters step through the portal with Alec in the lead, weapons drawn and ready to fight whatever danger might be waiting for them on the other side.

Magnus feels strangely remorseful as he watches Clary, alert and tense, holding a seraph blade as if she had been doing it all her life. Jocelyn would have hated to see it.

He walks in after them. Determined to get his son back.

**No matter the cost.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wrote out the sort little summaries for each chapter as a guide line and oh boy are you going to hate me for some of the things I planned.  
> Next chapter the gang go on their mission and Simon is tormented by the demoness.  
> -Lunatic Out!


	12. take my breath away: reprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon has a little episode and the team decides to stop moping.

Simon wakes feeling groggy. His limbs no longer feel like his own and he swears it's harder to breathe and blink than it ever was before.

He wants to go back to sleep.

He couldn't, not when Camille could be back any second. He'd rather not be unconscious if she- no he couldn't think about that. He'd barely managed to hold down what little food Lauren had force fed him in the first place. He wasn't about to make her struggle in vein by throwing up over the floor. That brought on the next question. 

Why was he on the bathroom floor?

Lauren had taken him back to the main room after washing him up and had promptly seated him at a table that hadn't been there before.Simon felt like a complete fucking toddler when she'd done so. Especially because she had proceeded to feed him as if he were a 2 year old. 

She'd left after that, a glint in her eyes that Simon was sure he'd seen before but couldn't place what it was or where he'd seen it. It was completely and utterly frustrating.

He looks around him, carefully sitting up with a groan. It pretty much still looks the exact same so he still has no clue how he got here or what he planned to do. The only thing different was that the toilet seat was up but considering he didn't at all feel the need to relieve himself he wasn't sure if that was what he had done.

Whatever he planned to do or did,it had caused him to pass out on the bathroom floor.

It felt refreshingly cool though and he had half a mind to just lay back down and await his doom. Deciding that he's definitely not a quitter he grabs the toilet seat and uses it to help himself to his feet.

Suddenly he sees what might have caused his lack of consciousness. He hadn't been able to see it from the floor but the mirror above the sink was smashed to pieces.

There's blood in the sink paired with a few shards of the mirror. Glancing down at his fist he realizes he's bleeding. Why would he-?

Camille. 

Because it was always fucking Camille.

He remembered getting up to look for a way out now. Now that he was older and not a 7 year old boy he could think more clearly. Buildings like this always had some kind of air conditioning. If he could just find where she'd hidden the air vent, be it behind heavy furniture or a fake piece of wall, he had to know.

He could recall deciding to search the bathroom first since it was the room he'd spent the least time in. Maybe he'd checked behind the toilet first? or maybe under the sink?

Whatever came first didn't matter, what mattered was looking at his reflection in the mirror while contemplating if he could get it off the wall without breaking it and seeing _her_.

Seeing Camille behind him, smiling while watching him with those predatory eyes. He'd turned around so fast he felt dizzy but nobody was in the room with him. When he turned back she was still there. Seemingly taunting him with her gaze.

He'd lost it.

There was a flare of anger, the sound of something shattering and pain.

He doesn't even remember passing out.

Fuck.

He grimaces as he looks at his already dirty and slightly torn shirt. Silently promising Magnus he'd buy a new one if he ever got out of here. He rips into the shirt, tearing out a long piece of cloth. 

He turns on the faucet, carefully cleaning off the blood and then binding the piece of cloth over his knuckles. As he turns the faucet off he can't help but stare at the shards of the mirror.

He picks one up and turns it over in his hand. After a few seconds of contemplation he pockets the piece and walks out of the bathroom as if nothing had happened.

He glares at the giant mass of paper stuck to the wall.

New tactic.

Piss Camille off.

With a burst of anger Simon had only felt a handful of times he bursts forward and rips the first few pages from the wall. A cold gleeful feeling starts boiling in his chest as he tears page after page from the wall. Ripping those into even smaller pieces until there was a mess of shredded paper and red string on the floor. With a devious smirk Simon gathered a large pile of the garbage in his arms and went to the bathroom again.

"Fuck you Camille,"He says to himself as he dumps his prize in the toilet and flushes. The pieces disappear with the flood of water, small enough that they don't clog up the toilet.

He does the same thing a total of 8 times before the only thing that's left are tiny pieces here and there and a heap of red string and thumbtacks.

He's about to pick those up and toss them into the toilet to, not caring if it would clog up and overflow, when the door bursts open.

He stills. 

Why did he think pissing Camille off was a good idea again?

"Oh my little Caramel, what have you **done**. Did you get all of your anger out?"She Didn't sound angry at all which either meant she was so mad she was calm or she didn't give a single shit about all of that stuff. Neither option was to Simon's liking.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"Simon flinched, when had she moved closer? who was he kidding,she was a fucking vampire. She'd probably be able to stand at the end of the street before he could say 'batman'. 

He's not sure in what universe a situation like that would occur but according to the multiverse universe. There is one.

Her hand brushes against his shoulder and he tries his best not to shiver. Promptly slamming his eyes shut to stop her from hypnotizing him again. Last time she'd caught him off guard and even though she had done so again now he'd had the advantage of having his back facing her.

"Such a stubborn treat. Refusing to obey me willingly. You remind me so much of your father."His eyes had almost involuntarily snapped open, almost. And he immediately knew what she was doing.

He wouldn't let her win. She'd properly have to force him if she wanted anything from him. No more.

"A really really stubborn treat it seems. Don't worry dear I can help you relax," Simon steps away blindly. Nearly tripping over his own feet. If she bites him it's over. He's a helpless blind mouse and she's the feral cat. 

Camille laughs.

It echo's through the room and for the life of him Simon can't quite figure out if she's in front or behind him. His heart beat in his chest like it wanted to escape and he couldn't blame it. He stumbled a few more steps backwards. Trying to sense Camille.

An actual scream tore from his throat when two arms seemingly came out of nowhere. gripping him tightly and pressing him against her chest with is back.

"I'll give you a little surprise my caramel, because you made me laugh," She murmured into his ear. Ignoring the way Simon was literally shaking. Without seconds to spare she pierces her fangs through the skin of Simon's neck. Seemingly not hearing the whimper that escapes the young warlock.

He slowly relaxes into her hold. Not really noticing when she retreats one arm from his waist. 

This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong.

There's a wrist shoved in front of his mouth and he vaguely recognizes the smell and color of blood. Vision still blurry without his glasses.

"Drink," Camille orders. Everything in him screams no. Every single survival instinct he has kicks in and yet....

He drinks.

After a couple of gulps Camille pulls her wrist away. Turning him so she can look at him. There's a smile on her face as she wipes a smear of blood from Simon's chin.

" _Now you'll be mine forever_ ," 

Simon passes out again.

_____________

The shadowhunters plus Magnus emerge from the portal at the back of the hotel Dumort. It looks more dark and sinister than the warlock remembers and he has a feeling that directly correlates to what is happening inside.

Alec turns to them, giving them a short nod of encouragement before grabbing Isabelle's arm and dragging her around the corner.

As promised the back door was open. Magnus felt as if he was back in that time again. When Simon had been 7 and scared and a total stranger. But this time his son was in there. Probably scared and in danger. 

He had to get him out of there if it was the last thing he did. 

A loud sound, what Magnus could only assume was an explosion, sounded from the front of the hotel. That was their cue to move. They wasted no time getting inside. Magnus up front because he knew the hotel better than anyone.

They make it to the stairway that leads down to the basement without much trouble but when Magnus goes to open a door a hand grips his wrist. He's quick to blast it away, frowning slightly when it seemed like his magic was weaker. Probably the reason Simon hadn't been able to escape on his own.

The vamp who had tried to stop him had flown into a wall. He looked fairly young with smooth black hair and if he wasn't so worried Magnus might have drawn the comparison between him and one of those characters from those trashy supernatural shows Simon liked to watch.

Jace stepped forward and with a swift move he plunged his seraph blade though the fledgling's stomach. Pulling it out before the man was even fully turned to dust.

Magnus throws open the basement door, now certain they didn't have much time left. He races down the steps with the two shadowhunters not far behind him. The door is not far from them now and Magnus silently prays that Camille is fucked up enough to trap Simon in the same room as last time.

The door swings open before they can reach it and Camille is standing there in all her ungodly glory. 

"Ah Magnus, just in time, I was just about to head out."Camille says with a smile. Magnus tries to summon magic to wipe that smug smile off her face but finds that it was suddenly out of reach.

Anti-magic wards.

"You should go Camille, if they catch you you'll be executed,"a voice from behind her said. Camille turned her head slightly and grimaced. 

"I'm afraid you're right my dear. Lose him and you'll lose your head. Goodbye," Before any of them could even register what she'd just said Camille was gone. There was a blonde haired vampire who had been standing behind Camille, i her arms was an unconscious Simon that looked like he was honest to god dead.

Magnus felt his breath falter.

Both Clary and Jace got into position to fight when the blond vamp raised a perfect eyebrow at them. 

"where were you? I've been waiting forever," She says, ignoring either shadowhunter as she carefully steps forwards smiles. Magnus comes to a sudden realization. This was the vampire who had tipped them off.

He's about to open his mouth to thank her or yell at her he doesn't know but she just shakes her head. 

"The roof, you need to go to the roof" She tells him. Holding Simon out to him. Magnus is pretty fucking sure he can't carry his teenage son like he used to and is almost relieved when Jace steps up after lighting up his strength rune.

"Go," the vamp says and Magnus jumps back in action. Right, the roof. He maneuvers them back up the steps. The feeling that he was suffocating lifting from his chest one he'd stepped into the hallway. He wonders why they shouldn't just go back from where they came but soon realizes why. On their way to the secret old staircase they pass the backdoor where 3 vamps were guarding the door with their backs to them.

Magnus quietly places a silence ward on them and they slip passed them without further complications.

His body is on autopilot as he leads them through the hallways narrowly avoiding vampires. It all gets blurry at some point. He doesn't really recollect when Alec and Izzy joined them. His main focus on finding a way out and secondary focus on Simon who was behind him in Jace's arms.

Finally the heavy steal door comes into sight and Magnus doesn't even have to think about swinging it open with his magic. Light streams into the hallway and Magnus feels so relieved he could collapse. They all make it onto the rooftop. Looking at each other and the sleeping teen in Jace's arms.

Magnus opens a portal home,now away enough from the threat of vampires and the magic wards to do so. As they pass through Magnus can't help but think it was to easy.

**Something was wrong.**

As he steps into his living room he watches Jace place Simon on the couch. Everything would be fine. whatever was wrong would be fixed and everything would be fine because Simon was _home_

Simon wakes up.

chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that I haven't uploaded in a while!  
> I'm still in school and lately they've been piling so much work on us that I literally couldn't breathe for a bit. Between art school and normal school life has been a bit chaotic.   
> New chapter soon I hope!  
> -Lunatic out


	13. The things she did to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon wakes up and freaks out.  
> An early morning call.  
> Numbness.

Simon feels tense. His muscles refuse to relax even in this half asleep almost drugged state he is in. Something inside his mind recognizes the softness of the furniture he's sleeping on. A sense of familiarity shoots through him like a missile and before hope can bloom in his chest a slender hand starts playing with his hair. Simon stiffens. 

No No nonononononno please.

His eyes shoot open on instinct. Ready to bolt as soon as those brown eyes stared into his own. Ready to give his all and die fighting. He wouldn't let her- He wouldn't!

His eyes feel unfocused as he clumsily rolls off of the couch he'd been placed on. Fists raised and breathing ragged.

He feels like he should know where he is. All the noise around him sounds like it's being suppressed by a wall of water. And without his glasses his vision is about as useless as it can be. The bright colors in the room almost force Simon to close his eyes and he grabs his head in agony as he forces himself to stay aware.

Somebody, a blur, starts slowly approaching him and though his body tenses instinctively his mind quietly starts to calm down. His breathing is still irregular and he still has no idea what's happening but for some reason this person was safe.

He was safe.

A sob wrecks through Simon like an unannounced cannon ball. He chokes on his breath and recoils as a hand tries to reach for him.

"Simon," A voice finally breaks through the wall of water. His head snaps up to look at the figure that had been slowly approaching him. He looked exhausted, make-up all messed up and clothes wrinkled.

Magnus.

Simon desperately wanted to move forward. He wanted to hug his dad and stay in his arms until he woke up from this horrible nightmare. But his body refused to move like a stone statue that was placed in the middle of the living room. The living room, they were at the loft.

He wasn't.... with **her** anymore.

Another sob manages to escape past his defenses. 

Magnus takes another step forward and Simon feels himself stumble over his feet to scramble back.

"Please don't touch me,"He begs. He has no idea how he'd react to that right now. His skin feels like not his own and even as his arms wrap around himself he feels _wrong_. This wasn't right. He'd... He'd let her do that to him and now he was home again. As if nothing at all had happened. But something *had* happened and it wasn't right!

He might be shaking or maybe he was imagining things. Magnus hadn't moved forward yet and Simon desperately wished he'd stay that way. It's only them in the room but Simon's keen senses know that they're not alone in the loft. Whether this other presence was a client or somebody he knew was questionable. Though Simon doubted Magnus would take clients at a time like this.

Well who knows really, maybe these past few years had all just been a charade and Magnus was glad that he- no. No stop it. He needed to calm down. There was so much he needed to say. He had to warn them of the consequences of his stupid mistakes.

He had to say something.

The young warlock opens his mouth, intending to warn Magnus about what he'd revealed to Camille. To ask him to call Raphael. But his mouth snapped shut as the presence in the loft moved towards them. In a matter of seconds the mismatched group of shadowhunters that his dad seemed to have adopted at this point burst into the room.

Clary is in the lead and almost jumps at him. Narrowly being grabbed by Magnus who pulls her back just in time. Simon flinches anyway. His eyes must be giant right now, like a deer caught in headlights. 

Clary shoots Magnus a questioning glance,halfheartedly trying to shake his hand off of her arm. His dad doesn't budge, instead using his other hand to wrap his arm around her side, keeping her in place in a more effective way.

Simon is grateful. 

"I.... I'd prefer it if you didn't touch me right now,"Simon rasps out. His voice sounds like a nightmare come to life and he sees the shadowhunters physically cringe at the scratchy sound. Without having to be told Jace turns on his heel back to the kitchen from which they had emerged to presumably fetch something to drink.

drink....

"She encanto'd me,"Simon said out loud. A small tendril of panic squeezing tightly around his heart.

"Yeah we kind of figured that that was the case. You'd have escaped on your own otherwise,"Isabelle says, giving him an almost teasing smile that in any other universe might have left him flustered but just made him cringe in this one. 

"I don't.... You don't understand she-" he couldn't bring himself to say anything about _that_. Not right now. He'd mention it later. yeah ......Later " She made me drink from her." he finished.

Jace who was walking back into the room with a big glass of water and a smaller cup of tea almost dropped both beverages as he heard what Simon said. Clary didn't seem to know what the big deal was as she glances between the worried looks the Lightwoods were shooting at Simon, Magnus' soft gasp and Jace's near fuck up.

Simon would have laughed at the confused puppy look on her face if his mind wasn't unconsciously following Jace's body movement as he set the glass and cup on the nearby coffee table. As soon as he moved a few steps away from it Simon reached for the glass of water and downed it. He opens his eyes, not really aware when he closed them, and promptly drops the glass in shock. It shatters on the floor but he can't help but look at the red stains on it. 

Blood, it was blood it was-

"Simon!"

His head snaps up, now aware that his dad had been calling his name. The older warlock is staring at him with concern. Simon squeezes his eyes closed. A morbid laugh bubbles out of him.

"You know...when Rafa said that the pre-fledgling stuff messed with your head i had no idea he meant it messed with your head like _**that**_ "

He opens his eyes to stare at the shards on the floor and wonders how many things he'll break before this whole thing blows over.

"What is happening to him?" Clary asks to the group. Simon things she sounds a bit desperate but he guesses he'd be too if it were her acting like he was now. His emotions felt all over the place and he's actually relieved that his powers aren't tied to them right now because he might have blown a hole in the city with mood swings like this.

"Vampires are made when a mundane or human presenting downworlder die with vampire blood in their systems. If somebody were to ingest vampire blood it can take a whole week for it to get out of their system. It'll start warping what he sees and hears. Making him hallucinate. It's a very slow and painful process." Alec clears up, eyes not leaving Simon. 

The young warlock was sure he was shaking now. Staring at his hands, one of which was still wrapped up but now with fresh bandages.

He remembers what he wanted to say again.

"Raphael!"he blurts out. Cutting off whatever Clary was about to say. He looks at Magnus with a renewed bout of panic. The high warlock sighs tiredly.

"I haven't been able to reach him but I'm sure he's fine Simon," Magnus said. He didn't sound like he believed a word he said himself but maybe he was somewhat hoping to keep Simon calm.

Mission failed.

"You don't understand okay! She made me tell her everything! He could be in danger!," he rushed out,His breath hitches and he feels like he's on the verge of a panic attack. 

Maybe Raphael was already dead. He was to late. His brother was dead and it was all his fault and he'd feel guilty for the rest of his life because he'd let her-

A frustrated cry ripped itself from his throat. He needed to stop. Panicking would get him nowhere. Raphael could be alive and in danger right now. He needed to focus.

"Have you tried calling lily?"He asked. He saw Magnus open his mouth with the same frustration burning in his eyes.About to snap something along the lines of 'of course i have!' at him. When his eyes widen.

"Shit,"The warlock says. He scrambles to pull his phone out of his pocket and Simon shifts anxiously from one foot to another as he sees Magnus press call. His mind is racing 200 miles an hour and for a second a silence so thick hangs in the air that he struggles to breathe.

"Magnus I swear this better be important," Simon and Magnus let out a breath of relief. Lily didn't sound more stressed than she always was. 

"Where is Raphael and why isn't he picking up his phone?"Magnus demanded, The relief in his eyes burning away to a cold rage. Simon heard Lily sigh heavily as if she was done with their shit already. Not entirely uncommon behavior.

"Some asshole stole his phone as he's being to proud to buy a new one. Do you want to talk to him?" Lily asked. She was being so casual and Simon almost collapsed in relief.

"Yes dear, please get him on the phone and then kindly leave the room,"Magnus said in a faux sweet voice and lily huffed out a laugh on the other side of the line. Simon thinks he distantly hears her say 'I'm in the other room planning your funeral' to Raphael before a tired sounding voice comes through the phone.

"Papa? It's 10 am , why did you wake us?"

A string of curses left Magnus' mouth and it's as if his brother's voice just lightly nudges Simon out of his body. The fear that had been building up in his gut deflates like a popped balloon and a new nub feeling spreads through him. 

Raphael was safe. They were all safe.

He thinks he hears Magnus yelling and maybe his older brother says 'I'll be there' at some point but Simon isn't quite sure. The exhaustion from everything crashes into him like a buss and he stumbles passed the group towards his bedroom door.

He's in bed in his pj's with no recollection of even entering his room but he doesn't really care at this point.

His cup of tea is cold.

Raphael is coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raphael is okay. For now.  
> Next chapter will focus a bit on Raphael coming home and talking to Simon.  
> Did ya like it?  
> -Lunatic out


	14. Mi pequeña estrella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael and Simon talk.. or try to.  
> Clary gets a brilliant idea.

Raphael was **pissed.**

Were it at himself or the world he's not quite sure yet. But he knows that he's about an inch from losing his mind and attempting to kill Camille himself.

She had taken Simon and he hadn't even known. The whole "important downworlder meeting" that was actually just another boring social event was just a way to get him out if the city so that she could kidnap his little brother.

Okay yes he was pretty fucking mad at himself. He should have seen it coming. Being sent away not days after he found that weird stalker room was a pretty obvious sign.

But he hadn't seen it and now here he was nervously tapping his foot as the elevator slowly took him up to the loft floor which did not exist according to the buttons on the wall.

With a quiet ding the doors slide open and Raphael takes no time is bursting into the loft and dropping his bag. He's about to demand where Simon was when he comes face to face with a group of shadowhunters.

"What are you doing here?" He growls out, his patience already thin. He doesn't dare to look at Clary. Not after seeing those runes on her skin.

"Leaving,"the black haired hunter spits out as he shoulders past Raphael. The vampire doesn't try to stop them. Feeling slightly confused but determined to see Simon either way.

Magnus is sitting on the love seat staring into the fire. He's holding a lit cigarette and Raphael feels somewhat glad that it's not a glass of rum instead. Moments like this could weaken the man's resolve.

The group of shadowhunters close the door behind them.

"They were supposed to leave hours ago," Magnus sighed in exhaustion. He rubbed one of his temples with his free hand and took another drag from his cigarette.

"Then why didn't they?" The fact that Simon wasn't in the living room probably meant that the boy was asleep. Raphael would be too after a traumatic experience like that. He knew what Camille liked to do to her victims.

"Alexander is convinced that we need to contact the Clave. Would not let the matter drop. He was going to stay on his own when his little band of misfits decided that they couldn't leave him here with a big evil warlock," Magnus' voice sounds mocking and Raphael realizes the man must be exhausted. Guilt simmers in his stomach but he refuses to acknowledge it.

"So what, you debated about that until Simon woke up?" He asked. Knowing from the phone call that Simon had been awake at some point. Just maybe not right now.

Magnus finally looked up at him. He had bags under his eyes that showed him just how exhausted he was and Raphael was shocked at how old his dad looked.

This must have really done a number on him.

"I wish,"the older warlock mumbles, grunting as he puts his cigarette out in the fireplace and finally standing up with a groan.

"Our dearest biscuit then decided that was the prime time to start asking all sorts of questions,"

Raphael grimaced. Clary must be so confused right now. Hell, he couldn't even look at her because he's afraid all he'll see in her eyes is disgust.

"Is he okay?" He asks instead. Because they both know Clary will be fine in the end. She's a fighter and way to curious for her own good. And though Simon was a fighter too he's already been through so much that Raphael feared....

This might be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

"I.... i don't know nino. He's been awake for a while. Retreated to his room when we were talking on the phone and slept for a bit..... but he hasn't come out yet," Magnus glanced worriedly at the door to Simon's room.

Raphael shoots the older man a wary smile.

"How about you go take a nice warm bath to de-stress and have a good nap? I'll go talk to him," he offered. Magnus looked unsure but eventually the desire to feel clean again and be able to relax made him agree.

"Thank you nino,"Magnus muttered. He moves forward and lovingly places a kiss on Raphael's forehead before moving passed him to his room.

The vampire takes the next 15 minutes cooking up some late lunch for his little brother and eventually knocks on the door with a plate full of sandwiches.

The door tentatively creaks open with a tiny spark of magic and Raphael sees a big mountain of blankets on the bed that he guesses is his little brother.

He feels anger swell up inside him again but quickly pushes it down. This was about Simon.

"Hey there mi penquena estrella," He says quietly. He's pretty sure the kid was faking being asleep but being quiet was just a safety precaution in this case. The pile shifts a little, like a giant turtle with a shell made out of a fluffy pile of blankets.He places the plate in his hands on the nearby coffee table for now. He'll have to persuade Simon to eat something after talking to him.

Finally a mop of brown hair peaks out from over the covers followed by two doe brown eyes. Raphael wants to cringe at how horrible his little brother looks. There are bags under his eyes and there's a haunted look on his face.

"Raphael?" a ghost of a whisper reaches him. He gives the teen a strained smile and slowly sits down at the end of the bed. Neither move closer to each other. It's silent in the room for a while.

Finally the mountain of blankets is shoved onto the floor. Simon awkwardly adjusts his position so that he's sitting up with his back against the headboard. 

"Simon what happened wi-"

"I don't want to talk about it," the teen cut him off. Raphael paused for a second before giving him a firm nod. He'd talk when he was ready and Raphael couldn't force him into anything. The silence from before returned with vengeance.

"How.... How was your trip?"Simon asked. He sounded kind of distant but Raphael couldn't blame him. They'd pull through. The bane family were always there for each other.

"It was... great. I- Don't you dare laugh at me when i say this okay?- I met a guy there"He starts. That seems to grab Simon's attention like nothing else would. If Raphael were alive he'd be blushing like a mad man right about now. Distracting Simon with his struggling through the romantic part of life had been his go to tactic since the boy was 11.

It kept being embarrassing no matter what.

"What was his name? Was he pretty? It's not a mundane is it?"A flurry of comments shoots out of Simon's mouth before he can seem to stop them. He looks surprised at himself for moment before focusing on Raphael again.

"Slow down Si.... I guess he was pretty but you and I both know that's not why I like people. He's a seelie, don't pull that face! He was really nice okay? And he didn't back down when I shot my usual sarcastic remarks at him. What was I supposed to do? not like him?" He defended himself. Internally grateful for the wide smile that spread across Simon's face.

"Raffie's got a crush,"the immortal teen sang mockingly. Not able to duck in time when his older brother threw a pillow at his face. 

"He's not exactly single.."The vampire muttered under his breath. Fully aware that his brother could hear him perfectly. The mocking chant stops dead in it's tracks as Simon stares at him with an open mouth.

"You fell for a married man?"

"First of all 'fell' is a bit much don't you think?"He began,shifting slightly so he could sit with his back against the end of the bed. He tried to ignore Simon's flinch as he looked back at the teen. "Secondly he's not married.... it's more of a... business agreement. That's what he told me anyway."  
  
The vampire sighed as if the weight of the world had been placed on his shoulders as he was told he was the only one who could carry it. Simon found that moment appropriate to laugh.

"Do you have his number?"The teen asked, sounding more and more like himself. A temporary distraction,unfortunately something that wouldn't last very long. 

He smiled and threw his phone ,that had been previously in his pocket, to his little brother.

The young warlock fumbled with the outdated piece of tech for a while before a smaller, more genuine smile spread across his face.

Raphael just hopes he isn't ruining his love life.

Finally after a few agonizing minutes of silence the phone is thrown back at him. He raises his eyebrow at the giggle Simon lets out as he looks at the message his little brother sent.

\-----

_**From el idiota:** "this is my number, don't lose it my dearest"_

_**From beautiful:** "k"_

_**From beautiful:** "I'm so sorry about my last reply. I was pretty tired. How about I take you out to a midnight walk to make it up to you? Next Friday at 11?"_

\------

Raphael looks up at Simon In shock. He wants to say something along the lines of 'Simon what the fuck' and he's about to when his phone buzzes in his hand.

**\-----**

_**From el idiota:** "That sounds wonderful. I expect flowers"_

\-------

"Holy shit,"He breathes out. He throws the phone back to Simon as he's having a mini crisis. Hearing the young warlock squeal in delight. Raphael runs his fingers through his hair.

"You're helping me pick out my outfit because this is your fault,"

They share a rare smile.

Simon starts rambling about the different outfit choices they have.

Raphael manages to make him eat a small pile of sandwiches.

Everything almost seems back to normal.

Almost.

\---------------

On the other side of town inside the institute a group of shadowhunters are breaking their heads open on what to do next. They weren't any closer to getting Clary's memories back and without them there was really nothing they could do.

None of them were prepared to go back to the high warlock's loft any time soon. His son was in no state to perform dangerous rituals. This left them with two options.

"I still say we go to the silent brothers"Jace pressed as he slides by in an office chair. Going from one desk to another. And despite the fact that it was a stupid idea it was also the only reasonable idea they had left. The other being waiting until Simon was up to the task of doing the ritual.

"I.... maybe we should check at the loft first... Maybe I don't need my memories back"Clary spoke up. She sounded just as uncertain of herself than she looked. None of them were really sure if she was serious or not.

"Why haven't we searched the loft before now?"Izzy asked out loud. She was speaking to nobody in particular but Alec felt personally attacked. Especially because he was extremely on edge after their stay at Magnus'

"Because we were to busy saving the high warlock's son!"He yelled. Uncaring of the heads that turned their way. He was so mentally exhausted and this conversation was not helping in the slightest.

"Maybe we should now then,"Izzy bit back. Just as tired and frustrated as Alec was. They stared each other down for a moment before Jace decided to interfere.

"That's good and all but are you forgetting that there are people out to kill Clary?"He said. Effectively pulling their attention away from each other and onto him.

"so she stays here," Alec says. He was utterly done with this redheaded shadowhunter wannabe following them around like a lost puppy.

"What? no! There are things in the loft that you wouldn't know about! I need to be there!"Clary protested. She sounded pissed that they would actually suggest leaving her behind. Damn red heads with anger issues.

A double beep coming from both Jace and Izzy's phones ,distracts them. Both pull them out almost simultaneously . A frown crosses over Jace's face and Izzy lets out a long sigh.

"We have a mission. Look Alec just let her come okay?"Jace says. Alec's resolve breaks as his parabatai looks at him with those irresistible puppy eyes. If he didn't know any better he'd think he was in love with the man... he wasn't.. he just wasn't.

He gives in with another sigh and mentally makes note that he needs to stop doing that.

"That doesn't solve the problem that she's being hunted though,"Alec interjected. Already dreading having to be alone with the red headed ball of flames. Clary perked up, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"I have an idea... There's nobody in NY that knows Brooklyn quite like Simon after all" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry Simon will open up eventually! I just don't think that he'd realistically be talking about it right after it happened. A mysterious seelie that Raphael has taken an interest to? who could that be?   
> And can Clary just shut up for one second and not try to drag Simon into every dangerous situation she comes across?   
> Find out next chapter.  
> -lunatic out


	15. King of Brooklyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus has 2 kids who never listen to him.  
> Simon is discovering the perks of vampire venom and Alec is babysitting.

Magnus bane is 2 seconds away from ripping his hair out.

This is for two reasons, both of which somehow include a shadowhunter. And he fucking hates it.

He's been living on this earth for at least 200 years. He had stopped counting after 20 if he was really honest with himself. He'd slept with many many people and, unfortunately, he'd had the pleasure of adopting even more.

But none of them were even nearly as stupid as Simon.

Simon who had just been kidnapped and tortured not a day ago, who still had vampire venom in his system. That very same boy that he raised, had agreed to go out on some shadowhunter scavenger hunt for a magic cup. And he hadn't even asked Magnus before saying yes.

The boy had literally no regards for his own safety and health. 

He'd strolled into the living room an hours after Raphael had left,which was also against Magnus' wishes but apparently nobody in their household listened to him anymore, and stated that he was going to help Clary.

Magnus had protested. Of course he had! He'd worried himself sick when Simon was kidnapped and he wasn't about to let him leave his sight for at least the next decade. But then Clary and the shadowhunter hottie had entered the loft and all protests had died in his mouth.

Alexander looked absolutely stunning in what he assumed was his "casual" wear which consisted of a soft grey sweater and some normal black skinny jeans. Apparently he knew how to dress up as mundane. It distracted Magnus long enough that he didn't even protest when Simon and Clary skipped outside as if they had never had any tension between them.

So Magnus had 2 problems. One was his son not caring about his own health and running around town with 1 and a half shadowhunters, and the other was one of those shadowhunters.

He glances at the clock.

9:30 am.

Magnus pours himself a drink

__________________________________

Simon felt great. 

This wasn't normal,he knew that. Of course he knew that! but at the moment he really didn't care. Between scoring his brother a date and getting a nap he felt like he could run a marathon and still not feel tired.

Again, this wasn't normal.

Especially if you consider the fact that Simon is absolutely horrible at sports. He has the stamina of a dying goose and he's not proud about it. Or maybe he is a little tiny bit proud of it but only because it pisses Raphael off.

All of that wasn't really important.

Because Clary asked for his help. His help! Which probably meant she wasn't as mad at him anymore. But that also meant that she immediately returned to the secret twin routine they had going on before. Hanging onto his arm and laying a hand on his bicep when she laughed at something he said.

Simon tries very hard not to flinch away from her.

Because it's stupid. He's better than this. It's just Clary. He knows she won't hurt him. 

It's just Clary.

It's just Clary.

It's just Clary.

It's just Cl-

"Hey Simon are you okay? You look kind of pale," Clay breaks through his mantra. Shocking him enough to make him flinch. He's been mostly walking on autopilot until now. Zigzagging through alleyways, keeping them out of sight. Brooklyn was his domain just as much as it was Clary's 

He forces himself to smile at the concerned red head.

"Yeah I'm fine, just.... withdrawals,"he mutters, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. It sounded like he was a drug addict. He hated it. Hated thinking that that's what Camille had done to him. Had forced him to become an addict.

Clary winces in sympathy. Keeping up pace as he unconsciously starts walking faster.

They were almost there anyway. He used to take this route when he'd fist gotten to know Clary well enough to meet up. Magnus had been paranoid beyond belief and had mapped out a route of alleyways that even the most aware NewYorkers didn't know about. He'd never been allowed to share it with anybody besides Magnus and Raphael. In the hopes that he would be able to use it when he was in trouble.

Simon guessed that this was enough of trouble to make up for the fact that he'd now revealed it to Clary and Alec. 

He takes a final left and comes upon the familiar brick wall that separated them from the back of the loft. With a swiftness he isn't familiar with Simon walks up to it, pushes himself off with one of his feet and clambers up the wall like it's nothing. He turns and sits down on the ledge. Already sticking his arm out to help Clary and Alec over when he notices them staring.

He pauses for a second. Fingers curling inward to make a fist. A flash of anger makes itself present in his mind and he has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from lashing out and screaming something along the lines of 'what are you staring at?'

He holds out his hand again. This time with a pointed look that snaps Clary out of whatever trance she was stuck in. She grabs it.

Simon easily hefts her onto the wall and then lowers her back down on the other side. He turns to do the same for Alec and at first he thinks the shadowhunter would refuse. He looked frustrated as he finally took Simon's hand and got hauled over the wall the same way as Clary.

Simon would have laughed if he wasn't a bit scared. The three of them knew full well what all of that was. It was the mark Camille had placed on him. One that could take weeks to vanish. She'd injected him with her venom and had planned to kill him, to turn him.

The young warlock shudders. Moving passed the two shadowhunters and jumping up to the fire-escape. He climbs up it easily and then lowers the ladder down so they wouldn't have to go through the awkward lifting process again. 

He gently trances his hands over the runes on the walls. Smiling as his fingers finally slide over a carving that wasn't a rune. 'C & S' it read. The words underneath had long since faded but Simon recalled exactly what they'd written there ' us against the world'.

Clary softly chuckled from behind him and it took every bit of his self control no to flinch.

"I remember that," she starts wistfully, eyes lingering just a little to long on the carving. Simon's hand recoils like he touched fire. Despite her asking for his help they hadn't resolved any of the tension that still hung between them.

Clary opens her mouth to say something. Probably earth shattering.

Simon's called over by Alec to fix the problem of the locked door.

He sighs in relief.

\------------

Clary Fray was understandably pissed.

Her life was a lie, her mother was kidnapped, her best friend was avoiding a very important conversation and worst of all Alec was babysitting her.

To be fair, the emphasis should be on ' was' there. Because she had realized pretty quickly once at the loft that the cup **_must_** be in the tarot cards Dot had had since she could remember. All of which had apparently been cleared out by the police. Which meant Luke probably had them.

And just their luck! the second Alec turned away to make a phone call a cop car arrived and she and Simon were taken in 'for questioning'.

Simon had fidgeted in the backseat for a while before finally settling down with a very quiet "shit" tumbling from his lips. 

He had turned to Clary. Quite seriously and without many words he conveyed what he was trying to say to her.

'Don't tell them anything'

Which turned out to be more obvious when they didn't stop at the police station and instead drove to the docks. Simon and Clary were practically manhandled inside a small Chinese restaurant on the edge of the docks. 

They're both handcuffed and struggling by the time they're shoved inside of a booth. Being guarded from all ways.

Alaric comes into the room with a very pained expression on his face. The new shadowhunter crushes down the hope that he might be there to save them when Simon's reaction is to literally sneer at the man.

Right.....the kidnapping situation.

\-------

They want the cup.

Simon wants to bash his own skull in.

Of course they want the fucking cup!

They'd threatened his life and Simon had to find out the hard way that in this state his magic was practically useless. It thrummed under his skin and a few sparks could shoot from his fingers but the bone deep exhaustion that had suddenly took over him made it close to impossible to perform any big feat of magic.

So here he was, hung upside down from a hook in what looked like a holding cell. A holding cell in a shady Chinese restaurant... yep that checks out. His life was already fucked up as it was but sure he could handle this on top of everything. 

It was fine.

**_everything was fine_ **

He focuses on his binds again. Knowing that he'd be able to get them out and to safety if his magic just decide to start working! 

He yanks at them in frustration. Startled yelp leaving his mouth when the ropes literally rip apart like cotton candy.

Right.

Vampire venom.

In a flash of movement he unbinds his feet and lands perfectly on the ground. If it weren't for the freaky vampire mojo he's pretty sure he would have face planted. Silver lining.

He pats his pockets in desperation looking for anything that could help him out. He feels a bulk under his fingers and to his surprise, pulls out his cellphone.

Those dumbasses hadn't removed his phone? 

Well to be fair he wouldn't have been able to get out of the binds from their perspective. 

He should not be defending their captors in his head.

He shuffles through his contacts, immediately searching for his dad's number when he pauses. He loves his dad, really, but if he found out about this he might actually start a full on war with the werewolves. It was only luck that Magnus hadn't done that to the Vampires.

Not that he was happy about his inaction. His ayah had voiced many times in the last few hours that if it wasn't for him and Raphael ,he'd have burned the hotel down by now.

With a sigh Simon scrolls through his other contacts and frowns at an unfamiliar one. It read ' hottie' with 2 crown emoji's on either side. It took a full 30 seconds for Simon to recall who that was.

His cheeks burned in embarrassment. 

Jace had left his number with Magnus before they had all left. Saying that if they ever needed the shadowhunters they should call him. Simon had been very exhausted and sleep drunk.

Sue him from thinking Jace was adorable. 

He clicks on the contact and lets the phone ring. Hope slowly fading as the 5th beeps echo's through the room. He's about to stop and try to call somebody else when a click sounds.

"This better be important Magnus," Jace sounded stressed and Simon immediately felt kind of bad. Maybe he was on a mission? He could still call somebody else. Or try to get them out himself. It wasn't like he was defenseless. AND he could drive so if he managed to get himself and Clary out then -

"Magnus," Jace called into his ear. Snapping Simon from his panicked frenzy. Well not really but enough that he was able to form words.

"It's Simon,me and Clary were kidnapped,"

He hears swearing and then distantly hears Jace relaying the information to somebody else. Simon starts to wander around the room and pulls open one of the lockers. Already looking for things he can use as a weapon.

"Simon where are you? Can you look outside? Tell me what you see" A different voice comes through the speakers. It's female and Simon realizes it's Izzy. She also sounds worried. The young warlock wonders if they're worried about him or about Clary. Then bitterly reminded himself that they were obviously just worried about one of their own.

He moves away from the locker for a second to stand up on a nearby bench and gazes outside through the small window.

"Um, I see water everywhere. I'm pretty sure we're at the docks. I uh, It's a restaurant, Chinese I think."His voice trembles when he speaks and oh.... Oh he was having a panic attack.

He tries to steady his breathing,Not all of Isabelle's words register in his mind. He's ruffling through the lockers again with no real recollection of getting down from the bench and eventually finds the shadowhunters an address. 

Alec tells him to start a distraction and the only thing Simon can think in his little pyromaniac brain is :Fire. He fumbles with the lighter that he found earlier, taking off his outer shirt and with a satisfying 'woosh' the thing starts to burn.

He throws it towards the lockers and the rest of the things inside easily catch fire.

Simon's aware of the fact that he's hyperventilating. He knew what a panic attack entailed for him and besides dissociating sometimes he had the standard ' I can't fucking breathe' experience. He tries to think about all the exercises his therapist taught him but none of it will make sense.

He curls up in the corner of the small cell. Smoke pouring all around him and the fire alarm going off seemingly in the distance.

'Somebody's coming.' He repeats in his head.

Somebody's coming.

Somebody's coming.

Somebody's coming.

Nobody's coming.

\------

Clary's not sure what's happening. 

The fire alarm is a constant shrill shrieking in her ears. She'd been hauled outside to a storage container but then saved by Luke?? 

Her new friends had showed up and then Isabelle had disappeared.

Clary had no idea where she vanished off to. Unable to tear her eyes away from what was supposedly an alpha fight.

An alpha fight,because apparently Luke was a goddamn werewolf.

Clary was pretty fucking close to screaming until it all made some inkling of sense. Maybe she would ,purely to sound above the growling of the wolves and the screeching of the fire alarm.

There's a low wine and suddenly the pack of wolves are a pack of humans. Standing around Luke and their leader.

"I won't kill you Theo," her father figure muttered,because it was tradition to kill the leader of the pack. Sure, whatever, Clary was numb to it all at this point. Theo muttered something she couldn't hear from where she stood. She sees Izzy come stumbling to them with a half continuous Simon in her arms. They both look incredibly tired.

"Are you okay?" Jace mutters in her ear. A shiver crawls up her spine and she turns around, drowning out the distant cheering of victory as Luke helped Theo to his feet.

She admired Jace for a second. He looked absolutely stunning. Fragile in the light of the moon. A smile tugged at her lips, the first genuine one in a while.

"Never been better," She said equally as soft as he had. Already leaning forward into him. 

Their lips meet in an explosion of fireworks that Clary can't quite describe. 

And then she truly feels happy for just a moment.

\------

Simon stares at his best friend as she kisses the handsome blonde shadowhunter. They both look absolutely love-struck as they pull apart.

Simon feels something break inside.

Oh.... Right, the one time Simon likes a guy who he could be honest with Clary had to be the one he falls for.

That was fine.

It was fine, seriously! He was super happy for her! She looked really really happy and who was he to take that from her. Besides Jace was probably straight anyway.

And even if he wasn't, It wasn't like a guy like him would willingly go out with Simon anyway.And he hated him! These feelings made no sense. Simon just thought the shadowhunter was pretty. Had he found it charming that he was so brave it bordered stupidity? Sure. Had he saved his father's life despite the fact that he didn't have to? Yes and Simon would be forever grateful.

Had he acted so caring when Simon collapsed from exhaustion? Yes and he was also-

Okay fuck.

Simon had a giant fucking crush on his best friends boyfriend.

His defenses start to crack.

Luke collapses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOf I am so sorry that this chapter took so long.  
> I get to go to school now after a very long quarantine break and I kinda got lost between homework and seeing my friends again. This chapter is a tiny bit longer than usual to make up for it. I have exams next week but I might try to sneak a new chapter in during.  
> Anyway, what'd you think?  
> Also please note that this story is NOT Jace/Clary and I will do something about it before it ends.  
> -Lunatic out!


	16. Alpha's bite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke tells a story and Raphael goes on a date.

Apparently an alpha's bite is poisonous or whatever. Honestly Simon was pretty tired of all the drama. Luke had been bitten by the previous alpha and now be may be dying?

So Simon was hiding in his room.

It wasn't like he didn't care about Luke. Of course he did! The werewolf was like a second dad to him. But the young warlock was just unbelievably tired and very very fucking close to losing his shit.

Magnus had started explaining what ingredients he'd need to help Luke and in that very moment Simon had slipped away to his room and locked the door behind him. Dropping like a depressed sack of bricks onto his bed. 

But for some god damn reason he couldn't sleep.

He wanted to so badly but closing his eyes and 'pretending' wasn't working like it usually would. Maybe he would have asked Magnus for a sleeping potion if he hadn't set one foot out his bedroom door to immediately see his father almost collapse.

Whatever Magnus was doing, it was apparently very draining.

He learns from Clary, who was still here for reasons Simon gave no shit about , that Jace was out on a scavenger hunt for all the ingredients.

Phoenix eyes,moon salt and Idris fulgurite.

He had absolutely no idea where in God's name the hot blonde would get those but both other occupants of the room did not seem even a tiny bit concerned so Simon would try not to worry ('Try' being the important part here). After letting Magnus explain what exactly he was doing Simon takes over from him.

It all must look eerie. Simon silently humming under his breath, trying to keep his eyes open and Luke alive. The room was softly lit and though the curtains were closed Simon was pretty sure it was dark outside. Magnus wanders off for a moment and appears at Simon's side as if he never left in what seems like seconds later.

He's holding a plate of sandwiches out for him but Simon doesn't take it. He ignores the disappointed sigh that Magnus lets out. Tears briefly brim his eyes for no reason other than the fact that he just wanted to **_sleep_**.

Of course he doesn't get to.

Jace returns some time later. He's covered in blood and Simon doesn't have the energy to look up as he holds down Luke who had started convulsing.

How long had Simon been holding him? Time started to blur together. Simon didn't want to admit that out loud. He'd gone through this before.

The restlessness while being bone-deep tired, losing time and seeing things that weren't there. All very unpleasant byproducts of a little vampire venom in your system. It was fine, _he_ was fine. He'd done this before when he was super young, he was older now and more powerful, he could handle it on his own.

"Move!"Magnus barked at him, Simon moved out of the way out of reflex. Watching half dazed as his father poured something down Luke's throat. He looks away as the werewolf started coughing and was surprised to come eye to eye with Jace.

Huh.... When had Jace gotten here?

Simon grabbed his head, trying to shake out the fog over his mind. He needed to focus! He needed to be in the moment. He couldn't just forget shit like that!

"You could just tell me! I'm sure my mother shared all of her secrets with you! Anybody but me right?!" 

Clary was yelling. She was yelling and Simon had an inkling she was yelling at his dad when he saw the man's face flare up in anger.

"Jocelyn kept things from me too! I'm not just some bad guy you can blame all of your problems on!"The older warlock yelled in retaliation. Simon tried his hardest not to flinch back. It was just Magnus who seemed to be at the end of his patience, nothing more. Nothing to be scared of.

"Erm.....What are we talking about?"He speaks up quietly. The argument stops as abruptly as it had started (for him anyway). Magnus, Clary and Jace were all looking at him as if he'd grown a second head. The room is filled with an uncomfortable silence only interrupted by the occasional groan coming from Luke.

A look of understanding suddenly flashes across Magnus' face and he gives the boy a deadpan stare that clearly says 'we're talking about this later'. Simon cringes.

"Luke was mumbling about telling Clary something very important and our dearest biscuit thinks that because we knew her shadowhunter heritage we'll also know what Luke wants to tell her,"Magnus bit out, he was clearly frustrated. Simon pondered that for a second, looking for a way to disassemble this situation.

"Well... There's really only one person who knows what Luke was talking about besides Jocelyn probably.... That's Luke"He says. He watches as their expressions morph into exasperation. Oh... They thought he was stupid didn't they? Well he had a point, he'd just worded it poorly. 

He points his finger at Luke and purely for his own amusement he mutters 'Rennervate' under his breath. A tiny spark of happiness settling his chest at the fact that he could just pretend to be a character in Harry potter, at least with the wordless everyday spells.

Luke startles awake. According to Magnus that spell felt like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown on your head when Simon performed it. Maybe it was his spotty grasp of easier spells or the fact that he always muttered harry potter spells under his breath instead of casting wordlessly. 

It did the job and that's all that really mattered. Plus he found it hilarious how Rafa could look like an angry wet rat without actually being wet.

"Clary? Magnus? Fuck."Luke says as he rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. 

That was pretty much how Simon would sum up the last few days too. 'Maybe I'd add 'Camille?'' the young warlock thought bitterly. His fists clenched until his knuckles turned white. 

Luke sits up in the couch, looking around the loft briefly before setting his focus on Clary. 

"I need to tell you something," he says.

'no shit,' Simon thinks. He lets himself fall in a fluffy looking chair that he knows for sure wasn't there before and settles himself so he's comfortable.

Let the shitshow begin I guess.

\--------

Raphael Santiago was completely unaware of the mortal peril Luke was in. Instead he was fixing his jacket for the 6th time since leaving the loft. He nervously shifted on his feet. This was stupid. He was being stupid. His little brother had hooked him up and now Raphael was a nervous wreck.

Absolutely ridiculous.

He clutched a small bouquet of daffodils in his hands. He'd just wanted to buy a standard Rose bouquet but then Simon had started talking about the language of the flowers and how Meliorn would _**obviously**_ know about it.

Coming out with 'I love you' on the first date was kind of a lot. So Simon had pulled a book of flowers seemingly out of nowhere and they'd started reading. 

'new beginnings', Raphael liked that. It wasn't a promise for something, just the start. And even if the seelie didn't know the flower language it was still pretty sweet.

So the vampire was an absolutely stressed out train wreck. That's probably why he doesn't hear the seelie sneak up on him. A hand wraps around his bicep and Raphael almost grabs it to flip whoever grabbed him to the ground when he turns.

Meliorn looks absolutely stunning. With his hair pulled back and a subtle shine of glitters along his cheekbone. The vampire stopped breathing for a moment.

"wow....You look beautiful,"He says before realizing he should have probably greeted the other man first, He goes to do so when the other laughs. Raphael can't help but admire the little crinkles by his eyes when he does. 

"You don't look to bad yourself Raphael,"The seelie tells him. If the vampire still had blood in his system he would have probably turned scarlet. Not knowing what to do while being completely flustered the vampire shoves the bouquet of daisies towards Meliorn.

The seelie grabs them and after admiring them for a second he looks back up at Raphael with a very soft expression.

"New beginnings... I'd like that,"He brushes a stray hair from his face and mentions his head towards the path.

"Walk with me?" He asks and Raphael wordlessly follows. It's beautiful out at night. The city is lit up with thousands of lights but just by the docks it's perfectly peaceful.

"So,"Meliorn starts, Raphael looks away from the pretty lights to look at him. "Tell me about yourself,"

He tells the seelie about his family and when Meliorn laughs.....

He thinks he falls.

\-------------

On the other side of town Clary Fray was quite possibly having the worst time of her life. This was surprising as she'd only recently found out her life was a lie and that her mother was kidnapped.

But nothing could beat this.

The pure devastation on Luke's face as he turned to speak to her. She knew that whatever he would say next would break her. Magnus and Simon saw it too. This wasn't going to be good.

"Clary what I need you to understand is that we used to be very different people in the past.... Me and your mother both did things that we regret every day," The new alpha started. Simon felt dread pooling in the pit of his stomach.

"Before you were born there was a resistance of shadowhunters who wanted to end downworlders once and for all,"Luke started and suddenly Clary felt sick. 

"The circle," She said, remembering Hodge with the circle rune engraved in his neck. "Jace told me about it,"

Luke nodded thoughtfully , twisting his hands in his lap.

"When I- Before I was bitten I was a shadowhunter like you and your mother... Me and Jocelyn were a part of the circle. My best friend, Valentine, was our leader,"He continues, he tries not to look at Clary but can't help but glance her way. There are tears in her eyes. He can't blame her.

"It didn't start out as what it was in the end. We thought we were doing the right thing! But the more we helped, the more extreme Valentine tried to go with it." He looks wistfully away as if he's remembering it all. "He got scary the more it went on... Me and Jocelyn came together in secret to find a way to stop him"

Luke closes his eyes. Simon has to too. He'd heard many stories about the circle over the years and many of them still managed to make him physically sick.

"He found out didn't he?"Clary's voice was small and she looks like she's shaking. When Simon looks at her he can't help the flare of anger that surfaces when he sees Jace standing behind her with a supportive hand on her shoulder.

He looks away.

"Valentine asked me to go on a hunt with him.... Then he locked me in with a pack of werewolves and didn't listen when I screamed for him to help me..;"His voice trails off. It sounded pained and none of them could even begin to imagine how that must have felt.

"It's practically Circle law to kill yourself once you've been turned,"Jace speaks up, he doesn't look at any of them as he says it. Simon wonders if he's ashamed for knowing that or if it's because he agrees.

"Jocelyn wouldn't let me.. We fought together against Valentine when he wouldn't see reason and ran,"He Rubs a hand absently over his wrist and Simon has a feeling that he'd been very close to doing it.

Clary looks absolutely pissed off all of a sudden. Like she couldn't believe what Luke was telling her. She shot up from her seat, finger pointing at the alpha werewolf in an accusing manner.

"So you left a creepy shadowhunter cult, what does that have to do with me?!"She yelled,Completely done with the dramatic story time they'd apparently started.

Luke looked up at her gravely and with a pause of hesitation he speaks.

"Clary.... Valentine is your father,"

Simon throws up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so incredibly sorry!  
> I got so distracted with my exams and then it was summer vacation and I moved.  
> So there was a lot of shit to do and I didn't even think about writing.  
> Again so sorry, Hope to write more soon unless I have more shit to do.  
> -Lunatic out


	17. The broken toy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon finally talks to somebody  
> Clary fights a demon  
> and then Simon never talks again.  
> (Or will he?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo, my apology is at the end of the chapter but for now.  
> Be Warned that there is talk of sexual abuse/non-consensual stuff, as in a person implies there experience and then talks about how they found out.  
> Hope you enjoy!

In the end it goes down a little like this. 

The shadowhunters get in in their head that they should be the ones to go get the cup. As in the moral cup. As in the Cup that could control demons and by extension downworlders.

Simon would have liked to know Jocelyn had that the entire time.

He recalled several occasions where he or Magnus had gotten into a fight with her and wondered if she had ever had the urge to use it on them. It wasn't like she was a bad person but she did tend to do 'what was for the best' which Simon had always thought was complete bullshit.

According to Luke Jocelyn had the power to just... Transform things into drawings. And that it was her genius idea to hide it in Dot's tarot cards. Cards which Simon had occasionally played with while chilling with Dot. 

He was very close to losing his god damn mind.

But yes. The shadowhunters decided that since Luke was way to weak to stroll into the police station that they would go and retrieve them themselves. And Simon was somewhat doubtful that the cup would then return to the loft.

Seeing the look Alec and Izzy had shared he's pretty sure the cup would go straight to the clave once they had it. Which Simon would have been fine with if he didn't know that the clave was severely corrupt and would probably use the damn thing for evil.

In the end, They couldn't really stop them, sure Simon could walk there himself and grab it since most of the officers knew him by name at this point but he really really didn't want to go out on his own right now.

Especially since Raphael came home looking more excited than Simon had ever seen him in his life. 

He was sitting on the couch contemplating the possibility of doomsday when the older vampire had burst through the door with, God help him, an actual smile on his face.

After an initial moment of shock Simon realized that today was the day that he'd totally scored a date for his brother and instant sat up. A raised eyebrow was all it took for the vampire to jump over the couch and settle next to Simon.

"He's amazing," Raphael started gushing and Simon almost subconsciously latched onto that happiness. He was severely lacking lately.

"Who is nino?"Magnus asked, returning with the cups of tea he'd told Simon he'd make for them. He sits down on the lone love seat and watches as Raphael launches into a rant about the guy he'd apparently gone on a date with.

Magnus should have been upset that his son hadn't told him but by the looks of it had told Simon. But seeing the smiles lighting up both of his children's features the old warlock couldn't help but let it go.

"-And then he got me some blood hot chocolate and we just.. talked! about everything and anything." Raphael sighed dreamily ,eyes seemingly far away. Magnus loved seeing his son like this. Almost like he was an actual 23 year old and not in his late 80's. 

"A bit quieter Rapha, Luke is sleeping in the other room," Simon muttered, unknowingly breaking his brother out of his sudden daydream. The vampire frowned and looked towards the guestroom.

"What happened?" He asked. Because well... He had been off on his date and before that he'd gone to Lily's place to discuss what to do next. He guesses he should charge his phone since he hadn't had the chance to charge it after getting a new one.

With a deep sigh Magnus starts explaining how essentially, Simon had been kidnapped _again_ , this time by werewolves and Luke had become Alpha. Simon felt his nerves flare under his skin as his pops kept dragging the story on. While it filled in the gaps of what had happened to Jace and why Clary had still been there it wasn't really relevant in comparison to what had been revealed.

"Jocelyn and Luke were a part of the Circle, Valentine is Clary's father and Jocelyn had the mortal cup all this time," Simon blurts out, cutting off Magnus who was retelling Simon's small amnesia episode. Raphael's mouth clicks shut in shock from what he was about to say. Eyes widening a fraction before he shakes his head.

"Okay..... Okay.... That's fine...I just- Okay," The vampire muttered, still sounding shell shocked but considerably less so than Simon had suspected.

"What-erm -What about your episode?" Raphael questioned. Seemingly putting the information Simon had given him on the back burner. Simon looked at him as if he'd grown a second head.

" _That's_ what you want to know about?" The young warlock shot back. Panic slowly rising in his chest. He just.. he didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm assuming that the fact that you're both drinking tea means there's nothing we can do so I have decided not to worry about the cup, that amnesia stuff is serious though" Raphael explained. He looked even more worried as soon as Simon's heart started hammering in his chest.

"Look it's just the normal stuff okay? Hallucinations, lack of appetite, memory loss, those are all normal." Simon protested. He knew that wasn't really what they were talking about. Because while memory loss was indeed normal in those kinds of situations it was very clear that dissociating during conversations was purely a Simon thing.

"Segar," Magnus warned, voice raising slightly. He knew full well that Simon was avoiding the real conversation here. They _had_ to talk about what happened with Camille. Magnus had to know what happened to his son. He was trying not to force him into it but it was clearly Bothering the young warlock more than he let on and it was completely breaking the older man.

"What did she do to you Mi Vida?" Raphael asked.

Simon looked away from them. Anxiety clawing at his chest and threatening to take his breath away. He very slowly took a breath in, trying to calm down as much as his mind would allow. His family would not let this go, that he knew. They were worried about him, didn't mean he had to like it.

The young warlock doesn't look up.

He starts talking

\-----------------------

Not very far from them, now in broad daylight, was a group of shadowhunters who had decided to do things the hard way. This was because of the multitude of different creatures that roamed around the police station as actual police officers.

Jace holds his stinging cheek as he and clary riffle though the evidence locker. Apparently Luke was under suspicion of murder and corruption. All of his stuff had been moved to evidence until he showed up and cleared his name.

Unfortunately for them they didn't think to really sort the stuff they took, meaning that they had to go through all of it.

Jace was already getting frustrated, not only did they have to get Alec and Izzy to make a distraction for them but they almost got caught.

"Found it!" Clary called from a row away, Jace jogged around the shelf and paused as he watched clary lift a box from the shelf.

He tried not to sigh in annoyance as she carefully handled the pictures that sat on top all the other stuff. Yet couldn't help but mutter under his breath that this would take all day.

Clary retaliated by dumping the box's contents on the table. Making a lot more noise than a person who is breaking in to a police storage locker should. Not that anybody would hear over the loud blaring of the alarms.

Clary quickly grabbed the stack of tarot cards that lay in the middle of the messy pile. Checking if the cup was among them.

"That looks exactly like the cup," Jace blurted before he could stop himself. He felt an almost....powerful aura come from the card.

Clary carefully reached for the cup inside the card. Not containing the disappointed sigh that left her when her hand just hit the card itself.

She tried again but just got the same result.

Hearing heavy footfalls come closer to the door the pair rushed towards the vent they crawled out of.

At least they had the cup, even if clary couldn't reach it.

\---------

"I.... she's done it before," Simon starts, his voice is small and he still doesn't dare to look up from the floor.

If he had, he'd see his father and brother solely focused on him. Watching him intently as he messed with the small holes that littered the ends of his shirt.

"When she- before you rescued me.... I wasn't conscious a lot," he trails off and tries desperately to keep the thick fog of despair from falling over him.

"I only know because Dr. Linda told me I had symptoms. I never even realized!" He continues. Eyes snapping up in a sudden desperation to prove that he hadn't known. That he hadn't enjoyed it.

His pops placed a comforting hand on his leg and Simon tried very hard not to flinch away.

"She said that Camille did things to me while I slept. Dr. Linda even cried once," he looks away again as he starts seeing the realization dawn on both of their faces.

"She.... she said it's called sexual abuse... that it's fairly common for young kidnapping victims to experience this I-"a sob interrupts him. If it weren't for the fact that his cheeks were still dry Simon would have thought it was his own.

Looking up again he sees his Ayah had curled into himself completely. Another sob rung through the silence of the living room.

Tears were clear in Raphael's eyes though he seemed to be refusing to let them fall.

"I wasn't unconscious this time," he whispers, almost afraid that if he said it any louder that would make it real.

Because he knew, he knew! That it was real. He saw it every time he closed his eyes and when anybody touched him without warning. And yet, for some reason, saying it really solidified the reality of it all.

The heaviness that had weighed on his chest since returning from his kidnapping seemingly doubled and Simon once again found it hard to breathe.

Magnus hadn't uncurled yet or given any other indication that he was still listening besides the shaking of his shoulders and the occasional sob that wrecked through him.

A sudden need to cheer his ayah up seized Simon's insides. He needed- he um... He needed to focus on the positives!

"Lauren helped. She... she helped me wash up and- and she talked to me!" He felt his volume rise as the panic clawing in his chest made itself known.

He didn't want to talk anymore.  
He didn't want to talk anymore.  
He didn't want to talk anymore.  
Hedidn'twanttotalkanymoreHedidn'twanttotalkanymoreHedidn'twanttotalkanymore.

"Simon!! SI Please calm down!!" A voice yelled over the chorus in his mind. He distantly heard counting and tried to remember how to breathe.

In.

A raspy noise that sounded like a wounded animal taking it's last breath filled Simon's ears.

Out.

An choppy exhale.

In.

A hand on his knee that doesn't feel tainted.

Out.

Soft murmurs of reassurance that Simon can almost make out if he just focused a bit harder.

In.

A room that slowly comes back into focus. Two concerned faces and a plate of disregarded sandwiches.

Out.

Simon shakily reaches for the hand on his knee and squeezes it tight. The hand turns in his own and interlocks their fingers.

Raphael gives him a small broken smile.

"Let's get you to bed nino." He says and gently picks his little brother up off the couch. Raphael doesn't comment on the fact that Simon weighs nothing or that he's not far from feeling his spine sticking out of his back.

Once Simon is tucked peacefully into his bed, completely oblivious to the world, his father and brother cry.

Unaware that they would soon mourn more than the mental health of their young little trickster.

\-----------  
whilst Simon was sinking further into an exhausted slumber his best friend was running for her life. Not only had she lost Jace in the underground tunnels but she was also being chased by demons.

Actual fucking demons.

Her legs would give out from under her if it wasn't for the adrenaline coursing through her veins. It felt like hellfire consuming everything that she was until she had but one desperate, screaming desire.

Survive.

Turning into the next hallway Clary instantly knows she's super hella fucked. There's no other way to turn but there or back. Back were the monsters and well... In front of her was a very dead end.

What would it be Clary Fairchild? A quick death or go down screaming and trying until her last breath?

The Fairchild family was never known for giving up.

In a desperate grab for something, _anything_ To save her from her inevitable fate Clary reached into her bag in search of something to make into a weapon. Her hands brushed against a forgotten stack of cards and with tears in her eyes the redhead fumbled for the cup card.

She tried, between panicked breaths, to reach inside the card like Luke said her mother could. But her hand just hit the card instead of reaching in. The demons who were chasing her finally rounded the corner and with an audible plea Clary tried one last time.

She thought, later when she was safe and not in mortal peril, that touching the cup must be what touching divinity must feel like. The heavy chalice in her hand weighed like a pile of bricks but also felt like she was holding nothing at all. The light coming off of it illuminated the whole tunnel and with a sudden spike of confidence that Clary was sure had not come from herself she demanded the demons to back off.

The creatures disappear back into the darkness and Clary tries very hard to hold in the sigh of relief that overwhelms to bring forth a full mental breakdown.

She starts running towards where she'd lost Jace. Hoping that she hadn't missed any turns. Instead of finding Jace she finds Izzy who was using her whip to slay one of the things that had chased Clary before.

Her footsteps cause the trained shadowhunter to turn towards her with the intent to whip her as well before realizing it was a friend. Izzy let out a relieved sigh as she saw Clary. Instantly taking her face in her hands to check if she was alright. Clary felt her heart flutter at the close contact before being pulled into a strong hug.

"Thank Raziel you're okay," Izzy said, pulling away after giving Clary a good squeeze. The redhead felt her cheeks flush.

As if being punched in the gut Clary remembered that she almost _wasn't_ okay and what had caused her okayness. She reached into her bag and with a deep breath she channeled the feeling she had when she'd brought out the cup minutes before.

Izzy gasped in wonder when Clary pulled the mortal cup out of her bag. Looking mesmerized by the golden glow.

"We have the cup,"

\-------------------------------

Simon felt like he was weightless. His mind drifted in and out as he tried to remember what he was doing and where he was. It somehow felt like a dream but not a dream. Like a walking cloud that drifted lazily around his head and into his brain making everything foggy and vague.

He couldn't quite question anything. Couldn't quite stop himself. His feet just stepped methodically on the concrete towards a destination that he both knew and didn't know.

All he really knew was that he had to get there. He had to. There was no telling what would happen if he didn't make it in time. No telling if everybody would survive if he didn't.

So Simon walked.

His legs sometimes refused to take the next step. Like his subconscious mind knew where he was going and didn't like it one bit.

Simon continued.

He stares only for a moment at the dull red lettering outside of the building before moving inside. Nobody else is there but Simon knows where he needs to go. It takes him 5 minutes to reach the room he was supposed to go. Feet halting when he observes the elegant woman sitting on the couch. She looks up at him. Face morphing into a calm mask of anger.

Her smile seems sweet. Somehow Simon knows it isn't.

"If they won't allow me to keep you my little caramel... I'll just have to make sure they can't have you either," Her voice sounds almost sad as she stands and walks over to him. Grabbing his blank face between her long pale fingers.

"Goodnight," She whispers softly.

Simon drops to the ground as a snap sounds through the room. Somewhat vaguely aware before the darkness engulfs him, that none of that was a dream.

Camille rubs her hands together and stares at the corpse of her little plaything. The trick with her blood hadn't worked quite like that before but it was good it did.

Who said she couldn't clean up her own messes?

What Camille forgets is that her blood not only had the capability to lure her prey to her. 

The vampire who's tasked with dropping the body in an abandoned alley doesn't know him.

Just like Camille doesn't know Simon was now turning.

_______________________

Clary stormed into the institute with Izzy behind her. The black haired shadowhunter broke off from Clary to go speak with some people. But Clary had a singular purpose in mind.

"Jace!"she called, seeing the man standing by the monitors looking stressed as ever. As soon as he saw her he engulfed her in a hug. His strong arms wrapping around her. Clary feels the emotions rise in her throat that she'd pushed down so far. 

"I honestly thought you were dead, "he whispers in her ear as they hug. She sniffles helplessly into his shoulder and replies with a very muffled "me too".

As they pull apart clary looks up at him and he looks down at her in such a way that would have been perfect for a kiss.... But neither of them want to.

"I-"They both start at the same time, before snapping their mouth shut to let the other speak. Jace licks his lips and nods his head towards her to continue.

"I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything.... But I uh-I'm pretty sure I have a crush on Izzy," she stage whispered. Almost offended when she sees his shoulders sag in instant relief. Jace honestly looks like he dodged a bullet and he actually smiles.

"I'm now pretty fucking sure I'm gay, "he reveals quietly. Startling a laugh out of her. Leave it up to them to be each others sexual awakenings. He grins back as she composes herself.

"That kiss it just..."He trails off but Clary seems to understand as she nods. "Heat of the moment thing and meant absolutely nothing. You're a good looking guy Jace but just... Not my type. And I'm not your type either apparently," They laugh silently and the lingering tension between them completely disappears.

"So Izzy huh?"Jace questions innocently, grin growing mischievous as Clary's cheeks burn red. She looks away, eyes instantly drawn to the Goddess of a woman that was speaking with someone across the room.

"I could set up a date with Simon for you," she changes the subject. Ripping her eyes away from Isabelle's absolutely adorable hand movements as she explains something to the shadowhunter next to her. Jace snorts but doesn't say anything.

She opens her mouth to tease him when her phone pings.

She wrestles it out of her to small coat pocket and opens her messages.

The smile on her face drops instantly. She looks up at Jace with fearful eyes and he can't help the panic instantly surfacing in his gut.

"Simon's gone," She says, turning the phone so Jace can see the message Magnus had sent "Again,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Posting after like 3 months of nothing? It's more likely than you think.   
> I am so so so sorry for not posting for so long. Unfortunately I am very much still in school and my last year just started so I haven't had a decent night of sleep in 2 months.  
> Other than that I've honestly just been really unmotivated to write lately.   
> So don't get your hopes up lol.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> -Lunatic out


	18. The funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They find Simon  
> None of them are sure what to do.

In the end it's all so devastatingly simple.

Raphael stumbles into the loft building at 3 am after the group searched throughout New York. The rest of them had called to gather an hour before but he hadn't showed up.

The body in his arms weighs him down heavily. Eyes closed peacefully and oh god Raphael might have thrown up if he was capable of that sort of thing.

The door op the apartment swings open before the vampire can even attempt to open it himself. His entrance is accompanied with a chorus of cries. He doesn't dare to look up until he's placed his little brother on the couch.

He honestly just looks asleep. Raphael can't fathom that he wasn't. Things like this, they didn't happen to them. Simon was supposed to stop aging, supposed to live forever.

And yet.....

Their father had broken down already. A mess in one of the shadowhunter's arms as he cried freely. This would be a breaking point for sure. Magnus would go back to the cold indifference he'd supported before they'd taken in Simon.

Raphael couldn't blame him.

"Please!"The old warlock cried desperately. Practically throwing himself at his son and clinging on to his dead body like a lifeline. The vampire was pretty unaware of his surroundings. Everything felt blurry and distant.

Simon would have probably known a word for that.

Everything just felt so unreal. Had been since they'd woken up and discovered Simon was missing from his room with no signs of forced entry. As if the little idiota had left willingly. It just didn't make any sense. He wanted to blame it all on Camille. Wanted to accuse her for the murder of his little brother but he had no proof.

They had no actual records of saving Simon from the dumort and so the only proof they had tying Camille and Simon together was hearsay. It would just be written off as a stay attack. He could already see it. The Clave wouldn't even bat an eye. Wouldn't demand justice no matter how much Magnus and Raphael would plead.

They were downworlders, dirt under the clave's boot and they would most likely privately celebrate yet another downworlder death.

It just wasn't fair.

"We.. We have to do something!"Clary screamed through the haze in his mind. With her voice came a very sudden drain of energy that forced the vampire to sit down on the floor. He leaned his head against the wall and smiled bitterly at the ceiling as another wave of tears hit him.

"It's no use,"he said before her precious shadowhunters could. He made eye contact with the red head and watched with a distant and cold anger as she seemed to strengthen her resolve. Nothing would ever be good enough for Clary Fray. She'd push it and push it until she got justice or was punished for trying.

'Good' the vampire thought bitterly. Best that she realised the Clave was a bunch of racist assholes early on. Who knows maybe with enough luck she'd only be suspended for questioning the Clave's authority.

Raphael turned his eyes away from her and back towards his father who had fallen back on his ass with his head leaning against the edge of the couch Simon lay upon. He watched the old warlock for a second , eyes avoiding the pale hand that hung off of the edge right next to his head.

He looked exhausted.

That wasn't really a surprise, between the three of them they'd probably gotten about 11 hours of sleep in the last 4 days. God he couldn't stand the thought that Simon had probably been so exhausted when he died that he hadn't even thought of holding on.

It made him sick to his stomach despite the fact that that thing hadn't actually worked in give or take 80 years. His little brother, all lost in New York, tired and alone.

"The blood!"Isabelle suddenly called out through the eerie silence of the room. All heads snapped to her in an instant and the black haired shadowhunter blushed bright red.

"I mean- um.. He was kidnapped by Camille right?,"She started, wincing as she realised it was probably not the greatest idea to bring that particular moment up whilst people were grieving. Despite now feeling awkward she continued.

"He said Camille made him drink from her!"Izzy clarefied, watching as realisation slowly dawned on their faces. Jace shook his head looking defeated.

"There's no way that was still in his system,"he argues, not wanting to say it but obviously having to be the voice of reason here. Apparently what he said didn't mean shit as Raphael slowly stood and walked over to his brother.

"Warlock blood flow works differently than a mundane. It's much slower because it literally carries magic which is a highly unstable element on it's own. That's why warlocks tend to be... very wild and explosive in their lifetimes.''Alec spoke up, disproving Jace's argument and watching with bated breath as Raphael slowly lowered his head on to Simon's chest.

As soon as it made contact the vampire sagged against it, eyes closing and breath halting.

"I can hear it,"he announces.

Clary is the only one who seems relieved to hear that.

"Why aren't you guys happy? Simon could live!"She shrieked, sounding more hopeful than she's sounded since this whole mess had started. Jace looked at her with a sadness in his eyes that she could barely comprehend.

"It's not that simple Clary-,"He started to explain when suddenly Magnus stood.

"Out," the warlock demanded in a soft whisper. None of them moved as a chill travelled through the room. Magnus's head snapped up, revealing two yellow cat eyes that were glowing with a sudden pent up rage.

"OUT!"he screamed, using a wave of magic to banish the group out of his apartment and blasting the door shut. It locked on it's own, giving the small family some privacy to think.

Raphael sat back down on the floor, watching as his papa paced in front of him. He felt an argument brewing between them before he'd even opened up his mouth to tell the other what he thought.

"We can't do this to him,"the vampire finally said. The warlock in front of him stilled suddenly in his tracks and looked at his son with a mixture of anger and pain dancing in his eyes. They both knew that they'd never agree with each other on this. Both knew that it was only a matter of time until they had to decide what to do and that neither option sounded any good.

"I can't lose him, not now,"Magnus told him. He sat down tiredly in front of his son and fought the urge to pull him close to him. He rubbed his eyes , leaning forward to put his head in his hands.

"We both know he wouldn't want this Papa. Think about _him_ , not us,"Raphael silently urged, instantly aware that he'd hit a nerve as the warlock's shoulders tensed.

"I am!"Magnus yelled, head haising up to look at Raphael. There were tears streaming down his face again and the vampire wanted to comfort him. Yet at the same time he'd never wanted to slap Magnus more than he wanted to now.

"We both know you're not,"Raphael spat back coldly. Not prepared for his papa to lunge forward and grab him by his jacket. He's all up in his face, eyes glowing with anger.

"I am thinking about him! I'm thinking about all the lost birthdays! All the countries he hasn't visited! The things he hasn't experienced!"He lets go of Raphael's jacket and falls back into his previous sitting position looking every bit as drained as Raphael feels.

They both knew it. Both aware that no matter what they decided to do they would lose Simon. 

"If he survives, would he be able to use magic again?"Raphael asks, staining to stay awake as the grief and exhaustion crashed over him like a wave. He just wanted his brother back. It was selfish, they were selfish. But he had no idea how to live without the little dork.

"I don't know,"Magnus responded. He pulled a purple string of magic between his fingers and watched it dance lazily in the palm of his hand. He didn't acknowledge that Raphael had given up that easily. Knowing that Raphael would have never been able to say goodbye to his little brother like this.

It was cruel. All of it was.

"I don't want to lose him," The vampire looked so much younger like this. So broken and beat down. He almost looked like that young man that had stumbled into his street a lifetime ago. Looking frightened and covered in blood. 

Mangus couldn't even imagine Simon ever looking like that. Couldn't see Simon sitting on the couch enjoying a bag of blood or some blood chocolate with Raphael. It just didn't quite fit. 

_It felt wrong_.

"Me neither," Magnus' eyes had tratoriously strayed to the body of his son. Staring at his still chest as an emptiness settled in his own. This wasn't how his son was supposed to grow up. He'd had visions of them travelling the world together. Of Simon going off on his own, maybe meeting somebody. He couldn't fit all of this into that fantasy now.

Maybe he would be able to once Simon's chest started moving again.

"Then we'll do it,"Raphael sounded hopelessly defeated. Neither of them really wanted to do this. Simon had loved Raphael,with all his heart, but he'd never really gotten over his fear of vampires. His heart still thundered loudly in his chest every time he saw Raphael eat and he still flinched when Raphael showed his fangs.

Over the years he'd become an expert at hiding it. Some well placed jokes or big exaggerated hand movements came a long way to make all of that disappear.

"He'll hate us," Raphael feels like he should say it out loud. Feels like he should make sure his father knew just what they were getting themselves into. This was Simon they were talking about. He could hold a grudge for forever if he so pleased. And doing this, it would be far worse than just some simple argument.

"I know."Magnus sighed. And he was aware of the dangers alright. Simon could end up magicless, a fate that Magnus didn't even wish upon his greatest enemies, he'd be a vampire, Probably scared of his own shadow, convinced he was a monster.

Or worse, he wouldn't wake up at all.

Magnus, in all his years, had never known of a vampire warlock. Not a word uttered or a vague reference written about one had passed him by. If this worked, it would be close to an actual fucking miracle.

Both of them didn't know whether to hope the boy would crawl out of the earth or just rest there forever.

\-----------

Two figures watch from the shadows as a group of shadowhunters, a warlock and a vampire walk towards the local cemetery with the dead boy of a young warlock. They had no idea why fate had called them here but they didn't doubt that whatever was about to happen would be interesting.

They moved from shadow to shadow, lurking and always two steps behind as the unlikely group of friends gathered around an already pre-dug hole.

The warlock lowered the dead boy into the grave with a solemn look. He seemed devastated to be doing such a thing. The figures guessed the boy must have had some significance in all of their lives to elicit that response.

The blonde and black haired males of the group were handed a shovel once the boy had been successfully lowered inside. 

They wondered briefly why they should be witness to the burial of a young warlock. Eyes glued to the melancholy scene with a morbid fascination. It seems that none of them had any idea what to do after the hole was filled. Eventually the vampire left together with the blonde shadowhunter and the two girls.

A sudden vibration passed under the two figures' feet and they realised just why they were brought here to witness this.

Two pairs of glowing eyes turned to one another with big grins on their faces.

"The queen will be pleased to know another one will be reborn soon,"one said to the other, already turning on his heel to search for the portal again. The other hummed in agreement.

"That she will be,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know this is all cryptic... Do I have any idea where I'm going with this? Sort of. You'll just have to trust me I guess.  
> -Lunatic out


	19. Heart to Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys talk but it might be the worst timing in history.

He had no idea what to do now, staring down at the gravedirt with dread curling in the pit of his stomach. Just for a moment he wanted to go back to how it was before.

Before Simon had been kidnapped,

before clary had found out.

Hell! Before the pair had met each other again.

Just Magnus, Raphael and little Simon.

It seemed like so long ago since he'd seen his son. Not the broken version of him that refused to be touched or the one that dedicated hours of his time making sure that revealing everything to Clary would go as smoothly as possible. 

Magnus missed the moments where he and his little family would curl up on the couch with the cat. All tuckered out from work or school, just enjoying being with each other. Yet another thing that seemed so far away now.

"I-", Apparently Alexander Lightwood did not understand that they were standing over the grave of Magnus' son and that talking right there would be highly inappropriate.

The older warlock had even protested at first when the shadowhunter insisted that at least one of them should stay behind to stand guard. With word spreading to the clave that Clary was the confirmed daughter of Valentine she was being called back to the institute for safe keeping.

Isabelle had decided to join her and Jace was accompanying Raphael to the hotel for the needed supplies if Simon were to survive.

Which left Magnus alone with the black haired shadowhunter, who he'd been lusting for since they'd met , at possibly the worst moment ever.

"I thought about what you said at the graveyard that day,"Alec doesn't look up from where his eyes rested on the obscured entrance of the quaint graveyard. A true mystery how the gate and the surrounding walls had suddenly grown over with ivy. Preventing any wandering soul from stumbling upon a possible un-funeral.

"About not being in love with jace,"He clarifies, suddenly aware that Magnus might not even remember that conversation, seeing as his son was kidnapped in the middle of it. Magnus's eyes burn into his head and Alec dares to glance at the warlock.

He looks like he might want to murder him which was totally fair. But Alec had started this and suddenly he couldn't stop. It was like he'd opened up some big reservoir of feelings and thoughts that had been piling up for a while.

"I think you were right,"he continues, because well, he can hardly leave it at that. Imagine if he just said that and stopped there. As if this wasn't the biggest fucking revelation of his life. As if he hadn't thought he was in love with Jace since they were 16.

Alec swallows through the knot in his throat and averts his eyes to look back at the entrance. 

"I don't think I was ever in love with Jace, I think I was in love with the thought of loving him,"he continues, he's never said anything like this out loud. Doesn't really know why he's confessing this to a man he'd met barely a week ago. 

He breathed out shakily and tried not to let it get to him. Tried not to think about where they were and why they were here. Possibly the worst place ever to confess something like this.

He continued.

"You-,"his voice awkwardly cracked and he tried very hard not to shut down completely. This was embarrassing, why was he doing this?

"You also said that my family wouldn't approve and right you were again,"Alec absently brushes his hair out of his face and tries to ignore the fact that his hand was shaking. Why was this so hard? Why was he doing this now? Was it the familiar setting? The sight of the graveyard that brought back that fateful conversation? 

Could it be because he overheard Jace and Clary talking a couple of hours before and hadn't even felt the tiniest spark of hope when Jace so casually revealed he was gay to her.

"Alexander please get to the point,"Magnus speaks up, he sounds annoyed and that's enough for Alec to momentarily realise that they were still at the graveyard. They were still standing by the grave of Magnus' son and a conversation like this was best saved for moments that were not here and now.

"I-Nevermind... Forget I said anything,"He knows he sounds strangely defeated. Which is ridiculous because he himself hadn't a clue what he was trying to say. He hadn't practiced this like he usually would with sensitive matters, in front of the mirror and repeated until he could say it without his voice cracking.

This was nothing like those conversations. Like that time he'd had to tell Izzy their parents weren't coming to the institute for christmas. Or that time he'd had to tell his parents he would be declining the girl they'd chosen for him to date and marry.

Those were conversations he could prepare for.

This? This was raw. Something he hadn't even dared to think about in the comfort of his own room. It seemed dangerous and sacred in that sense. Like he was on the edge of a life changing event and just hanging on to his old life with the tips of his fingers.

Magnus' shoulders untensed almost too suddenly. He let out a sigh and turned his back to his son's grave, sitting down just in front of the heaped dirt.

"Sit down Alexander," he urges. The shadowhunter looks like he wants to argue but when he looks at the warlock he feels like he sees the man's true age reflected in his eyes. Ancient and tired.

The temporary head of the institute plops down next to the man and rests his head on his knees. He can feel the other's eyes on him but the shadowhunter takes a moment to breathe. He hadn't had a panic attack since he was 16 and he was planning on keeping it that way.

Once he felt he had himself a bit more under control he turned to Magnus who was watching him with a softness he hadn't seen on the warlock before.

"This must be so hard for you,"Magnus began softly. He sounded like he couldn't raise his voice if he tried and Alec guessed the crying from earlier might be getting to him. A spike of guilt shot through him as he thought about the fact that he was basically forcing the warlock to talk with him. 

Nevermind that nobody had been able to force Magnus Bane to do anything since he'd been 257 and stupidly in love. 

"I'll be honest with you Alexander, I have no idea where you're going with this,"Magnus gave him a kind ,if tired, smile that eased the lingering anxiety that had gripped Alec's heart.

"I've known I was gay since I was 17. Which is pretty late I am aware. I'd started to have... Feelings for Jace the year before but I'd just assumed that was how every parabatai felt ,you know? It didn't even occur to me that it was weird until the whole Blackbirch scandal happened."Alec starts up again. He sees Magnus tilt his head slightly in confusion and realises that maybe that whole thing had been kept on the downlow.

"When they found out Maria and Hank Blackbirch were both knowingly and with consent having an affair with another.... A person of the same gender....,"Alec said quietly. Seeing Magnus' face sour. He knew of the Blackbirch family of course, married off at the age of 18 like many shadowhunters from well known families.

He'd always thought those two had put up more of a fight than the other. Guess he had his answer now as to why.

"I remember being so confused. If they were both in love with another why not divorce? It wasn't until my mother started spitting homophobic slurs that I realized why. I didn't even know that being gay was such a big deal." He trails off as his eyes wander over the graveyard. The usual feeling he has being at a place like this, the pressing to his chest and the eyes on him despite nobody looking, it all seemed to ease away in that moment. As if they were just sitting on a bench in the park and not in front of a grave.

"I learned that I needed to be quiet about who I loved. I've survived this long with that tactic in mind..... But, then I met you," He said. He locks eyes with Magnus again. The warlock's lips twitch in amusement and Alec feels his cheeks flush.

"I mean I met you with all your glitter and flashy colors! So open about who you are!"He clarified though he could see that Magnus saw right through him. He stood up from his sitting place and made a big flailing gesture with his arms, exasperated.

"You just- You don't care! About what other people think!"

Magnus stood too, looking at Alec in that soft amused way that twisted up all of his insides. A step closer and they were just a foot apart. 

Without a second thought Alec surged forward and closed the space between them. The young shadowhunter melted against the warlock's lips. Magnus instinctively placed a hand in the crook of Alexander's neck, holding them in place. The kiss lasted only for a moment before both pulled away. Magnus looked away, heart torn between a genuine wave of anger and a wave of want.

"I can't do this right now," he said, Alec's face fell but he followed Magnus' gaze to the grave they were standing by. 

He opened his mouth to respond when a sudden vibration passed under their feet. The grave dirt, which had been still not moments before, was now moving. The gate to the graveyard squeaked as it opened and Raphael and Jace came running. A hand emerged from the dirt and Magnus took a hasty step back.

It worked.

\------------

He'd never be able to tell you exactly how it felt. The fear, the hunger and everything that blended into existence as the dirt swallowed him whole.

He'd never be able to retell what it felt like to crawl out of your own grave, those first few minutes of pure agony. Knowing full well what was happening. Knowing that he'd died and there were only 2 ways with which he could have possibly escaped death and since he could think clearly the option of necromancy wasn't it.

Simon felt like the human embodiment of a fever. His skin burned hot and cold simultaneously and his stomach churned and lurched restlessly.

All he knew at this point was that he needed to get out.

He found himself moving,not completely in control of his body as he desperately clawed at everything around him. His hand finally breached what Simon could only assume was the surface and he pulled his entire body towards it.

As his skin made contact with the night air the boy was suddenly hit with an immense hunger. Like he'd do _anything_ To fill his stomach. He hauled his body up and away from the prison he was trapped in. Feet digging into the dirt as he scrambled away. 

There's a man in front of him in seconds. He looks like a person Simon should know. The black hair and concerned brown eyes sparked _some_ familiarity but Simon could really only focus on what was in his hand. He instinctively ripped the bag from the man's grip. Fangs elongating just in time for him to bite into the bag. With a satisfying rip the top of it tore off and Simon greedily poured the contents into his mouth. The man handed him another bag, seeming to know that just one wouldn't be enough. 

After the second bag was emptied Simon started to register his surroundings.

The man in front of him.... Raphael. He looked so worried and Simon looked down at himself. He was covered in dirt and red sticky blood. His mouth was filled with the metallic yet strangely delicious taste of it too. 

**_Fuck._ **

"Raphael?" His voice sounded rough, like he he'd been screaming for hours. His older brother winced at the sound. Simon's hands started to shake. 

**_Fuck fuck fuck fuck._ **

"Hey idiota, take a deep breath and we'll explain everything yeah?" The vampire urged, laying a hand on Simon's ankle to show his support. The teen took a moment for himself as he tried to stop the oncoming panic attack. He knows full well what all the signs point at. 

He knows what this meant.

"I want to go home,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I did y'all dirty. Just thought a kiss like this really fit the vibe of the story so far. It's really bittersweet with a promise for more but not right now.
> 
> Hope you liked it!  
> -Lunatic out!


End file.
